A healer has been killed at the local asylum and now you are trying to find out what happened. (This is a small scenario written for the "Bioware Writing Competition".)
Hi All, Well ... I have decided to vote for myself for a few reasons.... 1) It will become the 50th vote. 2) Others have done so. 3) More people appear to read this area than the comments. 4) I want to redress some of the negative comments/votes. The competition is nearly over and now I receive some low votes - as I was expecting. ;) I have tried to be open and objective on all my comments and would have liked to think that I gave each module I looked at a reasonable play. I have even offered to correct my scores if an author has thought my judgement to be unfair. At least I gave that chance, whereas many of those (not all) who have scored me low have remained anonymous. As I have said in previous posts (probably missed) some of my comments made in the section below will be taken out of context, as the posts originally made by voters have been updated, leaving my comments addressing those points inaccurate and irrelevant. As I say in my votes to any I have judged, the final say will be up to Bioware. So, good luck to all ... Lance. For Herrjeff ? and all those interested. ;) ? 10.0 DEALING WITH MADNESS (233RD TESTED MODULE) Text of Module: (3 out of 3) The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I did not notice any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors or typos. NB: I did notice some in my first draft (after posting it), but since we were allowed to update the module, I believe I squashed them all in the second draft. I may be ?word blind? to my own work though. (1.0) Characterization: The characters were very memorable due to their quirky personalities and quick to identify names. The personalities were developed through other areas of the game and not just through dialog as well. Interestingly, these characters (even though easily identified with) could quickly change according to the plot route taken. Yet, they would still fit according to the roles they had been given. Mad or genius ? you decide. (1.0) Dialog Flow: Short concise texts with a selection of choices where appropriate. At first one may have thought the responses a little too harsh, but after the nature of the problem is revealed, we can see why the responses were as they were. They acted as further clues to the underlying nature of the PC?s problem. (1.0) Concept Execution: (6.0 out of 6.0) Originality/Creativity: I have not known or played any other module where I was the one who was either mad or under the influence of another person without knowing it. This may not be everyone?s idea of fun, but I believe it was certainly original for a computer game. The fact that the player could change the story depending on the route they chose to take (trust the healer or not), also added a dimension to the module that I have not seen in any other I have played (to date). (1.0) Logical Flow: Regardless of the route you played the module, the logic was always sound ? even for a madhouse! (1.0) Drama: I covered this in the complementary text: Finding the note, reading through the tome, and getting past the combination locked door all added to moments of drama throughout the module (1.0) Pacing: We are thrown into the game immediately. For some, it is a moment of madness as they try to get to grips with what is going on, but for others, it is the adrenaline rush they need to keep up the chase of the murderer who is always just a few steps ahead. I liked it. (1.0) Character Development: Depending upon the route taken, the development of the characters changes. The PC definitely changes, to the like or dislike of the player ? I liked it. I have not seen multiple-path NPC development in any other module. Whether this is good or bad, I don?t know. I liked it though. (1.0) Multiple Paths: Tied closely to the plot and character development. Three paths are clearly shown at the end of the module. I have allowed an extra 0.25 for an ending I was not expecting. ;) (1.0) Conclusion: Technically, this module scored high in the writing (3/3). The story scored high in my opinion (6/6). My personal score is 1/1 because it is my baby. ;) _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Lance at on03/30/06
Hi Herrjeff, I will see what I can do. :) The only reason I did not do so was because it may have appeared too ... well, you know? But, as you have asked so nicely, I will try to write something to tag onto the comment that I have already made. I will try to be objective, but I think that it will be impossible. :lol: Besides, my complemetery text sort of does the same thing really. Lance. _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by sekhar at on03/30/06
Good effort. Solid writing. Whodunnit style. But all funny bits come after module is played through. Nice scripting.
Posted by herrjeff at on03/31/06
Please, no, don't spoil the suspense that have been bringing me back to your page over the past weeks. I want to see the "LanceBotelle Detailed Review(TM)" of this module, not a general assessment or the Agrigak-style. Let me refresh your memory: Text of Module (3) - The Writing - Characterization - Dialog Flow Concept Execution(6) - Originality/Creativity - Logical Flow - Drama - Pacing - Character Development - Multiple Paths Personal Appreciation(1)
Posted by hazylium at on03/29/06
Some of the writing was good, but overall I didn't enjoy all the running around I had to do, the beginning was a bit too confusing and the characters didn't seem too interesting to me.
Posted by Lance at on03/30/06
Hi Agrigak the Uncaring, Your vote is very kindly received. :) Its timing is like water to a parched mouth. And your name belies a fairer soul at heart. :) Thank you. Lance. _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Agrigak at on03/24/06
Lance, you are aptly named. Your participation merits more..
Posted by Lance at on03/30/06
THE FICTION WRITERS' HANDBOOK (BY NANCY SMITH) [QUOTE](Page 47) STYLE: "Here, let me remind you that a simple style is best. Nothing annoys me more, when readinga work of fiction, than to find it littered with obscure words that I have to keep looking up in a dictionary, thus disrupting my involvement in the story. Sometimes, too, there is an obvious attempt to be "literary" which merely becomes obtrusive (one can easily fall into that trap). Avoid, too, complex sentence-structures which force the reader to go back to the beginning to get the sense of it. Aim for a smooth, pleasing-to-the-ear, as much as to the eye, way of saying what you mean." Therefore, from what you said, I would take it that my writing does have "style" in the proper context of writing and was simply missing what you interpreted to be "style". This is where you will have missed the point of "style". Lance. _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Lance at on03/30/06
Robert Moon, You have: 1) Misunderstood my module. 2) Taken my comments to TW7 out of context. First, the module gives very good reason as to why you have been incarcerated - Did you reall play the module? Secondly, TW7 originally gave the module a score of 2.0, which were the reasons for my initial (uneditable) comments. As, even now, I still see comments (like yours), which obviously struggle to play a module properly. :( I won't thank you for your vote because none of your comments are accurate. :( Lance. _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by RobertMoon at on03/23/06
While the scripting and cut scenes were great, this contest isn't about scripts and cut scenes. It's about writing, and I found the writing to be rather plain and boring. There was no... style to it. Just declarative statements without any character to them. They felt like recitations of subject, verb, period; subject, verb, period. The story itself was irritating. I can't stand adventures where the author has imposed jailing of any kind upon my character. To impose such a circumstance presumes the PC was incapable of escaping capture, or, as in this case, was susceptible to mental illness / curse / what have you *and* could not evade capture. Same holds true for imposing opinions, emotions, thoughts, and other things that should be left up to the player to decide. Also incredibly irritating was the voice in my head that I was forced to converse with. Rather than restate everything twh7 said in his review, I shall simply incorporate it 100%. Finally, I didn't care about any of the characters -- not even myself. So when the ending came, it was unfulfilling. That all said, I *still* rated this a 6.0, which is above-average but clearly below some of the 10's you received from some. You seem to take the criticims of twh7 very hard and personally, so I hope you understand the intent in reviewer feedback isn't to upset you or otherwise cause consternation. It's supposed to help you grow as a writer and author. Please take my comments accordingly. Best of luck to you in your future writing.
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