After escaping from a group of slavers, the player finds themself in the middle of a desert they are unfamiliar with. Desperately needing water, a pond suddenly becomes visible in the distance, as well as the small figure of a person. Hopefully the mystery person is willing to share...
I'd just like to thank all 30 of you folks who took the time to play through and offer feedback on my module. Your comments will go a long way toward improving my future writing. So...thanks!
this is a prety generic scenario, but with far better than average conversations. I enjoyed that you had made the multiple endings, giving this a tad more replay value than the stereotypical 'go here do that game over you win' ones. i think having the PC be an escaped slave scenario was a good move albeit a riskyone.
Posted by Galaxicant at 2006-03-31 10:41:22 Voted 10.00 on 03/31/06
Allot of other peopel have said it better than I can word it. The NPCs were very well done, the dialog was as immersiv as any of the ones in the hallof fame. Thanks for making this, it was fun.
Posted by swor at 2006-03-31 08:33:19 Voted 8.00 on 03/31/06
This was a good entry. I liked the story and the writing was good. I didn't much care for the characters in it though. Still, over all as a writing submission it was pretty good.
Posted by hazylium at 2006-03-29 12:27:31 Voted 6.75 on 03/29/06
Bit mediocre- I found the characters to be rather cliche'd. Story was OK, but not spectacular. Didn't find myself caring much about the proceedings.
This was an ok mod, I guess, with multiple endings. It was rather funny seeing the elf glare at me when I tricked him into using the crystal. One problem I had with the mod was the lack of feedback. It didn't really make it clear that I had reached the end of the mod, and I had to check my journal entry to see what had happened.
Posted by emperorzog at 2006-03-29 06:36:20 Voted 7.75 on 03/29/06
Hmmm... An interesting piece. At times however it went in directions which I didn't really expect from it. It was not so much that it was an odd path per se, as it was that I didn't really want to follow down that one.
I also don't like to get stuck in too long a dialogue in any game. The actual NWN game did this to me on more than one occasion and it irritates me. ADHD and all that. Over all though, despite the differences this author and I have had in the past, I have to admit it was a pretty good game. Especially considering that it was his first attempt at the toolset. (5.0 being average).
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-28 08:16:26 Voted 9.25 on 03/28/06
Revised, after further mods' reviews
------
Dialogs make little sense if you don't start this mod by talking with the dwarf, but the author's explanations on this issue are valid.
The module deserves to be replayed to see each NPC's perspective of the solution. Otherwise, many dialogs are repetitive if your PC does not follow the scenario to its next step.
Posted by Shiara Grey at 2006-03-27 19:24:09 Voted 9.00 on 03/27/06
This is one of my favourite modules--the pleasure came purely from the writing and characters. Under those circumstances, it's entertaining to get caught in a dialogue loop ;).
Particularly enjoyed the dwarf and the paranoid Jass.
Posted by mikeyz at 2006-03-27 07:02:59 Voted 9.50 on 03/27/06
Great Dialogue, i like the layout alot, one of the best modules ive tested so far, great work!, look forward to some more of your work in the future.
Posted by Bobbsy at 2006-03-25 14:40:22 Voted 7.25 on 03/25/06
I very much liked the premise of this story and the way the dwarf initiates the quest. Much of the dialogue is nicely naturalistic, but I didn't like the way I'd sometimes get stuck in a "loop" that didn't advance the story sufficiently. I also felt the overall story was just a bit weaker than some of the modules I've rated higher
For sheer participation and quality.. Thanks for the hard work..
Posted by Roane at 2006-03-20 10:06:37 Voted 8.75 on 03/20/06
I love that it's not linear, that I get to decide who to believe and who to work with.
I also enjoyed how each character's dialog really made his personality apparent. I especially liked Jass's paranoia and how it was demonstrated.
Posted by Dnl_Jms_Frwrd at 2006-03-19 18:25:21 Voted 9.00 on 03/19/06
I thought this module had good quality writing and a nice variety of different solutions from which to choose. The characters were also very well done, though I personally would�ve preferred them to be a little less archetypal. Other than that, I thought the scenario as a whole worked rather well, especially the way the NPCs� differing methods and personalities clashed.
Posted by NullthraBloodeye at 2006-03-18 09:17:32 Voted 9.25 on 03/18/06
The dialogue was almost *perfect* as far as expressive NPC�s go. The descriptions were well done and the journals were short and to the point. Good job. This one is easy to read and overall worthy. I�m unable to remark on the multiple endings, but evidence of at least two paths that I found were present. The grab factor was a bit lacking to my personal tastes but that is no reason to mark it down for truly excellent writing. I personally feel the author could have added a bit more spice and detail to the plot, but what is done, is very good. This one does meet the expectations of the community which is clearly apparent in the other comments noting the dialogue. Overall this one is above average and the idea somewhat fits into a generic sub-quest. I don�t necessarily agree with the fact that I had escaped from slavers before encountering this dysfunctional group of adventurers. This plot could simply fit into any scenario where the player is low or out of water and in a far off distant area. IMHO a solid 9.25, TY
Just verified this, herrjeff. Accidentally used at_05 instead of 03. There was a lot of shuffling about at the end there.
Ah, well. It's a character's flaws that makes us love them, eh? :)
For my first attempt at using the toolset, I'll forgive myself for one mistake. But only one. ;)
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-02 05:58:31 Voted 9.25 on 03/28/06
One small bug that brings the PC to a deadend for one ending.
WARNING - - - SPOILER
When talking with Jass, you only receive a crystal if you choose the first reply ("it's about time"), not the second ("give it to me")
Thanks herrjeff, I appreciate you taking the time offer your feedback on my module. The contest limitations were a fun exercise, but they unfortunately meant that compromises had to be made somewhere in the story. :)
In response to further comments, I'd just like to confirm that the module doesn't work as well if the dwarf isn't the first npc spoken to. I considered making it so that the other npcs wouldn't talk until the dwarf had been spoken to, but in the end I decided not to spend the extra words on it.
I took a liberty and made the story assume that that the guy next to the much-desired water would be the first person spoken to. :)
Many thanks to all who've left me feedback, as well. Your comments are greatly appreciated!
Posted by BryDawg at 2006-02-25 15:26:12 Voted 10.00 on 02/25/06
Great dialog and the action really kept moving. Outstanding!!
Posted by kchinn at 2006-02-24 14:57:26 Voted 10.00 on 02/24/06
A+
Posted by dsf ( 198.69.xxx.xxx ) at 2006-02-24 14:52:52
great module!
Posted by kchinn ( 198.69.xxx.xxx ) at 2006-02-24 14:51:45
awesome!
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-22 12:36:19 Voted 8.50 on 02/22/06
Not too bad at all. Tight, solid, nice flow.
Posted by Brougham at 2006-02-21 14:51:11 Voted 9.25 on 02/21/06
Good plot idea plus good endings. The writing was good but did not shine. But I have decided to rate above just the writing.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-02-20 16:55:07 Voted 8.50 on 02/20/06
A very tight and well written module. Excellent dialogues, and convincing NPC personalities, even if perhaps a bit cliché. The nice writing and smooth flowing make me rate this module among the best I have played. However, it could have been even better with a more powerful story.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-02-16 21:08:08 Voted 7.75 on 02/16/06
One of the best I've played. Three clearly distinctive endings. Well-written. Fun for all.
_________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by The_Krit at 2006-02-07 22:17:16 Voted 8.50 on 02/07/06
This is one of the best examples of multiple endings that I've seen. The problems I have with this module are that the dialog doesn't flow nicely, and there could have been more dialog options. (Sometimes it was tricky to figure out which dialog option got you out of a loop.) On the other hand, the NPC's did have their own personalities.
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