They locked you up! You've been sent to the deepest, darkest, most unpleasant prison in all of the Empire. Unhappy with the prospect of spending the rest of eternity in the company of a demented wizard, a cowardly jailman, and a dwarfly disaster-waiting-to-happen, you've decided to break out!
This module was written in compliance with the requirements of the January 2006 BioWare Writing Contest.
Well that's that, the contest is now over. Thanks everyone that voted and even the people that played the module and forgot to vote.
I'm considering doing a full version of this module, one that takes you through the situation shown here (but with more choices and escape possibilities, basically everything the word limit didn't let me do!) into the dungeon under the prison and ultimately across a dungeon-based, but no less roleplay and character-intensive, story involving some characters that I hope you all appreciated.
Posted by The_Krit at 2006-03-31 21:13:35 Voted 6.75 on 03/31/06
Sorry for the short comments here; I'm sneaking in a few at the end. The main problem I have with this module is that there is only one resolution. The different endings only differ cosmetically (unless you proceed to the next adventure). Otherwise, it was fairly well written.
Posted by alklau at 2006-03-30 23:21:54 Voted 8.25 on 03/30/06
Nice writing in general, but clicking through dialogue choices got a bit repetitive after a while. I like the interactions with the different NPCs though.
Posted by wms at 2006-03-30 23:07:26 Voted 7.75 on 03/30/06
Well written, but a few points off for predictability and plot holes.
Posted by hazylium at 2006-03-29 12:37:03 Voted 7.50 on 03/29/06
Nice bits of writing here and there, but the storyline didn't really engage me and neither did the characters. Use a more interesting premise and you'll have a winner on your hands, though. You've certainly got potential.
For sheer participation.. Thanks for the hard work..
Posted by Ryam_BaCo at 2006-03-22 13:31:06 Voted 7.75 on 03/22/06
nice scripting, good atmosphere, pretty good designed characters, but the story sometimes flaws with logic. (why do the other guards want our guard to be killed? why can the dwarf get through the wall for being angry but...well...not being angry at all? etc...) _________________________ A Bet, A Corpse A Corpse, A Vote
It was a good attempt overall, and Kern and Alnar were well-developed characters, but the story did seem to revolve around Alnar more than the PC. The writing was also pretty good.
Posted by Tyrannus at 2006-03-18 13:52:18 Voted 6.25 on 03/18/06
everyone seems to be impressed with this module, so i'm not going to bore you with the good stuff. instead, i was disappointed by the lack of originality in the story and the lack of options in the conversation. it seemed like nothing i did really had any effect on the outcome of the story.
Posted by imported_beer at 2006-03-16 18:14:46 Voted 9.00 on 03/16/06
The story was far more engaging than the bulk of stories I have seen here. However, it felt a little contrived. (Well, it is a Jail break and not a romance so thats o.k). I found it impossible to judge your writing independently of the atmosphere that you created so this may be a bit biased.
Posted by PrincessWho at 2006-03-13 20:03:34 Voted 7.75 on 03/13/06
Great scripting but I found the storyline to be very predictable. Wish I had more choice in the module.
Posted by Aelin at 2006-03-04 10:52:20 Voted 9.00 on 03/04/06
Great job, really.
Good story and excelent dialongs. Also superb use of camera and good scripting but that doesn't count.
Interesting characters, all three, but I liked specially Kern (and if I had to choose a mate for the dungeon you described in the conclusion, it's surely him).
I liked how you can open different endings with different choises during the conversetion. It was not so linear after all :)
No idea why that happened but I re-uploaded and it seems to work now, geez I think this module hates me. Good thing technical malfunctions aren't to be graded, right?
Posted by Aelin at 2006-03-03 09:06:24 Voted 9.00 on 03/04/06
I'm afraid to say that, but the fixed version seems not downloadable.
I forgot that the "Tunnel" placeable was added in SoU... The InfoChanger didn't complain at all because it gets added via scripting and therefore wasn't detected as a static placeable would have been.
The placeable has been changed to a boulder, which I know doesn't make a whole lot of sense but there aren't any tunnel placeables in Vanilla. Sorry about that.
The module should be updated soon, but if you don't want to wait then you could simply 'DebugMode 1' and 'dm_jumptopoint 0 0' to get out if you know how to use console commands.
Posted by Aelin at 2006-03-02 16:39:41 Voted 9.00 on 03/04/06
I'm happy you finally have also a vanilla version, so I can play your module. It seems nice.
I just tried it but I had a "little" problem: Kern "breaks" the wall, yes, but only in the dialog, there was no tunnel, Alnar escape all alone, my cell's door remain closed and locked and even Kern desappear! All the NPCs were gone and I'm till trapped here! Something went wrong.
I think I'll do at least a second try before rating it.
Posted by roane242 at 2006-02-27 12:27:53 Voted 8.50 on 02/27/06
I thought this was an extraordinarily well crafted entry, with well crafted characters and an instantly obvious delimma that�s resolved completely through action-oriented dialogue. I was immediately drawn into the world of the story with the opening �new fish� walk through the jail cell. Several voters have called the module linear, but there was a lot of decision making to be done in terms of who to talk to and where to go with each piece of information. Although the story arced to an inevitable conclusion, the conclusion itself was dramatic and satisfying.
Most of my criticisms have been voiced by other voters, but I want to make a couple of points. The dialog, which was used as the tool by which the main characters predicament was resolved, became repetitive and stale after awhile. I had the experience of hunting through the dialogue simply to find the next clue, rather than experiencing the strength of the dialogue itself. This may simply have been the cost of organizing the action of the module around dialogue, but it hurt the experience of the game.
Well done.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-02-26 05:49:22 Voted 8.00 on 02/26/06
The author calls his own module a satire, hereby avoiding the reproach of stereotypicity. Whether he succeeds, I don't know. I do know that merely having stereotypical characters does not imply satire, so he is threading a dangerous line. But is this module funny? Well, while I did not find the story roll-on-the-floor-laughing-hilarious, the humour was subtle and mature enough not to annoy me either. Furthermore, the writing was well done, and the story developed nicely. All in all: a solid entry.
I've just uploaded a version of the module that works with Vanilla NWN for users that don't have any expansions. No dialog has been editted. I hope I get lots of votes from the non-expansion community!
Note: The Armory that Kern references in the end of the module had expansion placeables in it and since they've been deleted, it doesn't look much like an armory anymore.
Can some of the people who have rated down the module because of it's writing (as opposed to the ones that hippocritically scored the scripting down while saying it shouldn't influence votes) come forward and tell me what specifically caused them to rate that way? Saying "the writing was bad" doesn't help me at all, you need to point out what made it bad and how it can be improved. I took great pride in polishing the lines and trying to provide some context for some of the lines and I really do not know what it is that's wrong about them. Please tell me.
Posted by Brougham at 2006-02-21 14:56:58 Voted 7.25 on 02/21/06
Writing was not too great compared to competition. Had some lovely touches like how to get a dwarf's attention and the crazy wizard. Ending was unsatisfying.
Posted by SnakeGunner at 2006-02-21 08:51:38 Voted 4.00 on 02/21/06
I thought we were supposed to be judging writing talent, not scripting. The storyline seems rather boring, linear, and predictable. There was NO way you would fail at breaking at out jail and this scenario would help out characters would otherwise do good deeds.
Posted by Arik at 2006-02-21 01:36:46 Voted 9.00 on 02/21/06
I thought the characterisation and scenario were superb. Dialogue focuses on action rather than exposition, with the PC trying to find a way out of the cell. The humour is the icing on the cake.
It may be something of a linear ride, but what a ride. Excellent writing.
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-19 16:05:49 Voted 8.25 on 02/19/06
*echoes emperorzog*
Posted by Quillmaster at 2006-02-18 09:20:15 Voted 8.50 on 02/18/06
I enjoyed this. It was fun to play and the dialogue was of a length that didn't make the reading of it painful. The quality of the dialogue was very good, although it has to be said I have seen better and marked them accordingly (although I guess that comes down to personal taste at the end of the day).
I was a little surprised with how easily the guard fell unconcious, and felt that maybe having him leave the area for some reason would have been more convincing, but overall this was very good. _________________________ View my blog regarding the Relbonian Chronicles project --> Link
Posted by Tarqu1n at 2006-02-15 14:25:43 Voted 9.50 on 02/15/06
Wow! What a great module. I am quite envious of your scripting prowess and must commend you on the characterisation, plot, dialogue...well, everything really. You really did stick exactly to the contest rules, the prison scene was atmospheric, the wizard, dwarf and guard were animated and funny. My only nit-pick is that there were times in the choices with the wizard where there were too few options but that is really so minor a point. An exceptional entry on all counts.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-02-14 07:11:36 Voted 9.00 on 02/14/06
Good scenario, with consistent NPCs' background and personalities, but the PC shouldn't know their names and have so much information available by right-clicking on them...
Although the objective was quite obvious, the key to evasion through the dialog options was entertaining, especially when speaking with Alnar! In fact, I would prefer if there was any option to evade offered through those conversations, without relying on Kern's abilities.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-02-13 16:35:43 Voted 7.00 on 02/13/06
Using a scale of 5 being your average module maker, 7 being your average I want a job with Bioware writer, and 8 being I wet myself and didn't notice. I've only given above 8 for Lexicon and Builders Project Toolset Manual. Certainly different. Good scripting adds no points. Liked the 4 endings though no 'I survive for sure' ending. Is, of course, linear. No 'I got killed attempting the escape' previous to ending. Not the best but certainly solid. _________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
I think a lot of the low ratings against this module have been missing things that I didn't originally think needed to be stated but it's becoming more and more apperent that they do to clarify some of the complaints that keep cropping up.
The following contains spoilers so the uninitiated should turn their eyes:
The most important point and, interestingly enough, one that has not been brough up by any reviewer, is that this module is a Satire. It is not to be taken seriously. Indeed several people brought up how "stereotypical" or "cliched" the characters are but few realize that that is the entire point. Alnar is the stereotypical power-hungry wizard and Kern is your standard dwarven barbarian menace. They were meant to be that way.
Henry isn't so much a satire of anything, merely an anchor by which to perceive the madness of the other two.
I don't know about anybody else, but for me a power-hungry wizard and a deranged dwarf practically spells out Dungeons and Dragons to me, they're two of the most common characters. The comedy, in my opinion, in this module is that you're stuck in a cell in between two characters that exemplify these basic DnD structures. I suppose I shouldn't have made it so subtle...
Secondly, the issue of choice. I'm annoyed that everyone tells me to have more choices in the module but no one likes to suggest what those choices should have been. You're in a jail cell, what do you do? In my opinion, the only options one would have while they're encarcerated is talking to their neighbors or doing nothing at all and I feel that both choices are offered in leaps and bounds by this module. I just don't see where I'd have room for a deep political intrigue in the middle of all this sitting around being locked up business.
I would respect and encourage it that you all ignore the scripting when grading the module as I never meant to make it seem like I was replacing the writing with scripts, but it doesn't feel right to me that I should lose points because the scripts are there. The rules don't state that a module can't have scripting so I'd appreciate it if they weren't being used against me by being there.
As I've stated once before, the main character's crime is not defined in the module, only hinted at by the player's dialog choices. I did not want to make this a rogue only module or to restrict any classes or alignments by writing up a crime that didn't fit the bill for all players so I left it up to the player's interpretation of their own character to decide their crime. In hindsight this decision doesn't seem to have been very popular with people, but I don't want it to be said that I didn't consider the alternatives.
The endings sort of tell the full tale if you read all of them, as each individual ending only gives you some of the details about the next scene. Since I took to heart that this was a "Sidequest" style module, I did not want the endings to be drastically different, so I wrote them how I would have done it in a full module. No matter how you choose to escape, you always end up in a dungeon beneath the prison with the monster hunting you. Having some endings result in success and others in failure would have made it a main-plot tier quest. Your ending choice would only determine which character becomes your henchmen for the dungeon sequence that follows (unless you go Solo).
I hope that clarified some of the common complaints people have had about this module. Thank you for all of the reviews!
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