In a small town's gaol, you learn of the brutal murder of a prestigious citizen. The captain of the town's guard has narrowed the possible suspects down to two people--the murdered man's youthful wife, and his former gardener. You have been enlisted to assist in the investigation by determining which of the two suspects is guilty.
A Bioware Writing Contest Submission by G. Scott Kurkul.
Well, now that the contest is over, I felt it was safe to check out the posts. ;-) Sorry to anyone who might have been looking for a reply from me, but I promised myself I wouldn't peek until the very end. Thanks to everyone who downloaded the contest module, and especially to those who voted. And I offer a hearty congratulations to those who won the contest! Good job!
Posted by The_Krit at 2006-03-31 13:37:33 Voted 7.25 on 03/31/06
The writing is pretty good, but it does get a little tedious to figure out which options you missed (so you can get that fourth piece of incriminating evidence).
Why would such a small town with no crime have such a large prison? Why did the prisoners not talk to the Commander?
Posted by wms at 2006-03-30 23:04:01 Voted 7.50 on 03/30/06
Maybe I've just played too many "murder mystery" quests/modules but I'm starting to think that an investigation is difficult to depict entirely through dialogue.
Posted by Althernai at 2006-03-16 21:48:10 Voted 10.00 on 03/16/06
A very good mystery and one of the best contest mods I've played. You've done a very good job of defining the personalities of the suspects given the limitations on the mod.
My one and only complaint is that if you choose one of them, then change your mind, go talk to the prisoners again and come back to the guard, you get two "Continue" options in the end and (at least) one of them gives you the ending you did not select.
Posted by lethen011 at 2006-02-27 04:33:18 Voted 7.25 on 02/27/06
I agree with what has previously been written about how the characters seem more like part of the "puzzle" than actual people.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-02-24 14:39:23 Voted 7.75 on 02/24/06
For once, I wholeheartedly agree with another voter (Ythaniel). I have nothing to add.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-02-21 21:16:41 Voted 8.00 on 02/21/06
I concur with Ythaniel's comments. Although I enjoyed most of the NPCs' replies, some dialog options with the 2 suspects were adding and removing questions your PC could ask and it was difficult to present a conclusion to the captain. The results of the investigation looked more like a mathematical exercise (four reasons are greater than two) than based on logic and insight. A few skill checks could be implemented to reflect the PC's abilities.
Posted by Mister_Leebo at 2006-02-17 23:53:01 Voted 8.00 on 02/17/06
The writing was good and the characters were fleshed out within the boundaries of the crime, but they didn't possess any qualities that weren't directly linked to the events and in that I find a weakness in their characterization. It's as if they were born to come and be suspects in this crime.
Modules like this tend to be more of an exercise for the player than the player's character and I feel that this is not in keeping with the purpose of the contest. Furthermore, I personally find it difficult to want to participate in a murder mystery module in which you cannot interview witnesses, examine crime scenes, or gather any evidence whatsoever which isn't given to you by the less-than-reliable accused.
However, I recognize that there isn't much you can do within the limitations of the contest so I'll close by saying that this is the sort of module that shouldn't be confined to a single area with 3 NPCs and a harsh wordcount.
Overall, I enjoy modules that make you think as much as the next person but I do not feel that puzzles are to be graded in a writing contest and therefore you deserve a good, solid 8 which is what I feel the writing itself deserves.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-02-17 22:00:11 Voted 7.00 on 02/17/06
Wouldn't really know who the murderer was if he didn't confess after module was over. Like the 3 cutscene endings. However the halfling says "I beg ot you" when he is sentenced to death in the cutscene. Should be "of". Good all-around module for its type. _________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by Lance Botelle at 2006-02-09 14:32:46 Voted 8.00 on 02/09/06
8.0 MURDER MOST FOUL: (82ND TESTED MODULE)
My intention is to give feedback on both the writing (competition) and design (not necessarily competition) for every module I have the chance to play. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible and apologise if I have appeared harsh in any of my scores. Also remember this is only my opinion; Bioware�s is the one that counts!
WRITING: Out of your two modules, this was definitely the better of the two. The start was still a little drawn for me, but once I started the interviews with the cellmates, I thought the play off each other was well done.
DESIGN: The cell arrangement was good, and the cut-scenes at the end were a pleasure.
FINAL: The plot was straightforward, but I enjoyed the accused NPC�s responses, which were quite well done.
MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO):
< 5 Not up with the competition.
5 - 6 Average.
7 - 8 Above average.
> 8 An exceptional piece
SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES):
GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction?
PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices?
CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable?
SPELLING & GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors?
OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere & scenery, including sounds & props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Ythaniel at 2006-02-07 20:37:01 Voted 7.75 on 02/07/06
Not sure why the guard captain would ask me to help pass judgement in a murder case, but I guess I'll make up my own reason. The characters were good, as was the prose. The pacing was a little flat. I never felt that I had enough evidence to explain the guilt of anyone conclusively, so it was hard to conclude the module from the conversations I had with the accused. I wound up having to guess which dialog option would take me to the end of the module. Also, there wasn't anyway I could bribe either of them (the lady with her money!) to get them to fudge evidence for them or some such. Thus the module was somewhat limited in scope.
Posted by FallenStar at 2006-02-07 08:19:54 Voted 9.25 on 02/07/06
Maybe I am a gracious voter.. But the modules I have played so far have all been pretty darn good. I think this contest is going to be hard to judge.
The only reason you don't get a 10 from me is that your first character didn't hook me. I didn't feel that grab. If you had done that, then this module would have been a real hit in my book.
Posted by LordNiah at 2006-02-05 13:48:32 Voted 7.50 on 02/05/06
As with your other mod, this one had a good number of choices and a good plot (although I never figured out the true murder). I also felt you did a little better with characters and that the dialogue seemed a little more polished. The reason why I don't give it a higher score is because I prefer more characterization, and also because you first character seemed the least interesting of all.
Posted by Aliera at 2006-02-04 17:56:34 Voted 8.50 on 02/04/06
While the writing is comparable to other very good mods in terms of dialogue, I thought this one was perhaps better suited to an interactive game-based storytelling. While ideally it could be a bit more involved, getting to see the crime scene and discover clues and such, this still worked very well within the contest limitations.
The conversation scripting was a little loopy, you often had to repeat questions to make sure you didn't miss anything, but i imagine that could be fixed without much trouble.
Oh and the ending cutscenes were a nice touch. Good job.
Posted by Aliera at 2006-02-04 13:52:18 Voted 8.50 on 02/04/06
Very good, the mystery puzzle was pretty well thought out, and the multiple endings made sense. Plus it was nice to find out what happened afterwards, no matter what choice you picked.
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-03 13:21:00 Voted 7.25 on 02/03/06
A number of these entries use the structure of a "simple choice", undoubtedly due to necessitiy. So the question is: How does this compare to similiar entries? Ignoring your scripting, factoring in the use of cliche and the lack of pc roleplaying branches, I'd say only slightly above average.
Posted by hmdai at 2006-02-03 12:15:12 Voted 9.50 on 02/03/06
I have only encountered a typo inside the mod. The story is to identify the murder. However, it seems that both suspects have the same reason to commit the crime "even" they have provided their information.
Posted by ChaironDeCeleste at 2006-02-01 22:43:27 Voted 9.75 on 02/01/06
'nuff said ;)
Posted by relo614 at 2006-02-01 08:43:18 Voted 10.00 on 02/01/06
Excellant mod!
Posted by RobFaeth at 2006-02-01 01:54:41 Voted 8.00 on 02/01/06
The writing was quite good, the characters were well defined, and the dialogue choices were quite good. However, I also had some problems with the campaign. It was too much running back and forth for my tastes, it took too much to uncover certain plot elements and dialogue options, the scripting didn't always work, and there were several typos. Overall it was really quite good, but felt like it needed to be tightened.
I want to be extra-harsh on my score, because I feel others haven't been critical enough (two tens? Come on. I swear you know those people, and they're being over-generous.) However, I fear I am . . . *sigh* . . . morally above that, or something, and have to give you a good score. You're the 2nd highest score I've given, btw, so feel good about that.
Good work, overall, and good luck in the contest.
Posted by Dark Antony at 2006-01-31 18:40:11 Voted 8.00 on 01/31/06
The writing itself was very sound in this module and I found the amount of dialogue options available to the PC to be refreshing. The resolution was also well done although it seemed like the PC had to rely on luck or instinct rather than detective's logic to correctly identify the perpetrator.
I thought the premise itself was cliche especially the murdered husband, wife, gardener love triangle as well as many of the points of suspician revealed in the interrogations. Colorful language and characters or even some twists on stereotypes would have enhanced this well-known (almost archetypal) story. Overall, the writing held up well and there was consistent and logical interaction with the NPCs. (The word count was also slightly over the designated limit.)
Posted by hannya at 2006-01-31 18:29:56 Voted 10.00 on 01/31/06
Good job :) Some of the convo was a little loopy at times (such as the options of which questions i could ask were being repeated even if i already asked previously). But other than that, spotless. Good luck with the contest!
Posted by pipilongbeard at 2006-01-31 08:09:41 Voted 10.00 on 01/31/06
This one is also very good. Logic is well done and answer is subtle but not difficult. Plus multiple outcomes. Detail and background also good.
Posted by Morkie at 2006-01-31 07:34:29 Voted 10.00 on 01/31/06
Nicely done Sir!
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