Posted by Redbeard_219 at 2006-03-22 18:37:27 Voted 6.25 on 03/22/06
It's not much of a different ending when it all boils down to I choose this.
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Modules rated: 69
Average: 5.91
Standard Dev: 1.48
Posted by Boozehound Blue at 2006-03-20 21:15:28 Voted 10.00
A compelling story, decently written. Good, distinct character development in the two boys. Some single option dialogues. Don�t prefer my PC bogged down with kingly duties, and some confusion choosing between memories of father�s death (since I didn�t really know myself). Still, a nice side quest (8.25)
Posted by Lance Botelle at 2006-03-10 12:27:56 Voted 7.75 on 03/10/06
7.75 A TALE OF TWO SONS (199TH TESTED MODULE)
This is my updated scoring system structured around the format provided by Bioware. The final score is still consistent with my old system, but I hope to give clearer feedback within the new guidelines. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible. Remember, this is only my opinion; Bioware�s is the one that counts! If you believe I have scored your module unfairly, or I have missed something of importance, please email me at �[email protected]� and I will consider any comments made.
All nine Bioware points can score a maximum of 1 point each, leaving 1 point for my personal interest/like of the module.
Text of Module: (2.75 out of 3)
The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I only noticed a questionable use of punctuation. (0.75)
Characterization: I thought the characters were well done. (1.0)
Dialog Flow: I had no problems with the dialogue flow. (1.0)
Concept & Execution: (4.5 out of 6)
Originality/Creativity: A mediator type plot with heart. (0.75)
Logical Flow: I thought everything flowed well. (1.0)
Drama: Discovering more information about the boys added moments of drama. (0.5)
Pacing: The module had reasonable pacing throughout. (0.75)
Character Development: There was development in the NPCs. (0.75)
Multiple Paths: I will assume three paths. (0.75)
Conclusion: Technically, this module scored below average in the writing in my opinion. (1.25/3) The story scored just below average in my opinion. (3.5/6). My personal score is 0.5 out of 1.0 because the story flowed quite well and the characters were interesting. I did want to be able to save the boys without taking a bribe.
MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO):
< 5 Not up with the competition.
5 - 6 Average.
7 - 8 Above average.
> 8 An exceptional piece
PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES):
GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction?
PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices?
CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable?
SPELLING & GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors?
OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere & scenery, including sounds & props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-03-08 10:53:06 Voted 7.00 on 03/08/06
New options come up on everyone which is good. Would have liked 4th ending where evil character took money and both sons.
_________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by saraphinn at 2006-03-07 20:13:51 Voted 8.75 on 03/07/06
A nice delemma, good job!
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-07 06:10:05 Voted 8.50 on 03/07/06
Good scenario, with a proper scope of dialog options to roleplay your PC. Narration of the father's death might require a persuasion/bluff check if the PC lied to the 2 sons. I concur with Moonroach's comments with respect to the depth of the dialog trees.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-03-05 04:55:41 Voted 8.25 on 03/05/06
An enjoyable piece of work! The commenters before me have stated the positive and negative points of this module pretty well, so I will leave it at that.
Posted by NullthraBloodeye at 2006-03-04 09:06:09 Voted 9.00 on 03/04/06
A good one. Echos below.
Posted by Kenrae at 2006-03-01 11:42:51 Voted 9.00 on 03/01/06
Very good idea. I liked it a lot.
Posted by Mister_Leebo at 2006-02-26 18:06:48 Voted 9.00 on 02/26/06
Plotline:
While it draws you in and makes itself interesting (using the "human factor") it does force you into a role. Given the story this module tells, this is quite excusable.
Pacing: Only slightly off. It's not easy to determine whether or not there's more to see, leaving you clicking on the boys and their mother hoping some other option comes up that feels "final".
Characterization:
Good, good, and good. Every character has a distinct personality that directly ties into the plot. There's even the question of whether the children are too developed for their age, but the loss of one's father can do that.
Writing:
I don't recall any major complaints about the writing. Some variety would have been nice but that's the limitations of the contest for you.
This one is a good one. I cannot say with confidence that it meets what BioWare is looking for but the author should be proud of what he's created.
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-24 16:24:45 Voted 8.25 on 02/24/06
Quite nice really, a fun twist on what I've called the "simple choice paradigm" elsewhere.
Expansions needed although the module is marked as working on all versions.
Posted by RobFaeth at 2006-02-19 10:51:40 Voted 6.75 on 02/19/06
First of all, I think this is a great module idea to fit inside the restrictions of this module. It presented a lot of room to just examine the writing, so from the start, you ahd that going for you.
The writing was far above average for the most part, though as previously mentioned, you'll want to "show, not tell" a little more. I liked the voice you gave to the characters through your dialogue. There was some confusion to me as to what their age was supposed to be. They were little kid avatars, with little kid voices, but adult pictures, and with a voice that left them somewhere inbetween ages 10 and 16, I felt. It really wasn't clear to me, as they spoke far more intelligently than little kids should, but were obviously still supposed to be children.
There were a couple of typos, one at the very end (I can't remember it specifically, but it had to do with a misplaced letter "b"). The one at the end was the only one that really distracted me, so kudos there.
The structure of the scripting (and how you had to talk to characters ina circle, and choose specific dialogue options to unlock new ones, even when the subject was already mentioned--i.e., William's disagreement with the king) was quite circular, and became a bit annoying. I agree that there should have been an option to take neither child, and no bribe, or to possibly find them unfit on your own. It may have also been nice to be able to talk to the mother about her children.
One of my big pet peeves in modules it having a pre-defined character, which you did quite heavily. Especially towards the beginning, I didn't feel I had the options to be my own character. That did a very good job of providing a varied pre-defined character. Though I was a specific person with rather limited options, I could still have different opinions that influenced reactions, etc. I appreciated this, at the very least.
So, in the end, despite the fact that you had some real rough spots and hit one of my pet peeves, I still enjoyed your module. With just a little bit of pollish, this module could have received a much higher score from me. There was just too much in the area of tough scripting mazes, unclear characters, and limited options for me to give this a really high rating.
Have fun, and good luck in the future!
Posted by Moonroach at 2006-02-16 20:14:04 Voted 8.25 on 02/16/06
Very good job on the brothers' characters and dialog. I could instantly tell which one I was talking to. Their personalities came through very clearly and their motivations were believable. Definitely a strong point of this module, and accomplished with a minimum of text.
A good job bringing out a bit more depth in each brother as I talked to them, so that I needed to talk to each one at least twice. I felt like it made sense to learn about the brothers' motivations when I did.
Even so, I felt like my choice was just a little bit shallow: brains or brawn? I might have been a little happier if the distinction had been a little less obvious, if you had "shown" and not "told" me. The story about the bully was a great way to illustrate the difference between the brothers without coming out and having them say that one is stronger and one is smarter.
I'm not sure this module's setup worked well for me. It seemed like both brothers wanted to enlist... as a recruiter, why was I turning down willing recruits?
I also felt a huge lack of feedback at the end. Did I choose well? I realize it's the nature of the module not to tell me that I chose "correctly" or "poorly," but I still found myself craving more conclusion than I got.
Good writing, all nitpicks aside.
Posted by Tangent Kaufman at 2006-02-10 11:20:15 Voted 9.25 on 02/10/06
Nice work! However, I think there should also be an option to let the mother keep her boys without being bribed. The portraits for the boys are also too... manly. Naming the area also would've been nice. All that said, it was very well written - a great situation for roleplaying and a variety of solutions available. Cool!
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