Posted by Redbeard_219 at 2006-03-29 20:14:04 Voted 6.00 on 03/29/06
Spelling errors; "maybe one of you�" when there is only one. The ghost scenes portrayed L. as a probable bad guy, but there was no way to resolve this before freeing him and whatever evil he may have been on the world.
=====================
Modules rated: 78
Average: 5.96
Standard Dev: 1.48
Posted by Arik at 2006-03-18 03:47:39 Voted 8.50 on 03/18/06
This is one of the more interesting plots I've seen in the contest, although I did notice a lot of mistakes in the dialogue. The exposition when attempting to get the items served to enhance the mystery, rather than to make everything plain, which was very clever. Having the ending structure based on the player's decisions throughout was a great move, although I must confess that the connection between the attempted solutions of the puzzles and the overall result eludes me. Still, a very worthy module.
Posted by Lance Botelle at 2006-03-15 09:42:31 Voted 7.25 on 03/15/06
7.25 UNDER THE DESERT (219TH TESTED MODULE)
This is my updated scoring system structured around the format provided by Bioware. The final score is still consistent with my old system, but I hope to give clearer feedback within the new guidelines. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible. Remember, this is only my opinion; Bioware�s is the one that counts! If you believe I have scored your module unfairly, or I have missed something of importance, please email me at �[email protected]� and I will consider any comments made.
All nine Bioware points can score a maximum of 1 point each, leaving 1 point for my personal interest/like of the module.
Text of Module: (1.5 out of 3)
The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I noticed much misuse of punctuation and poor sentence structure. Also a elven > an elven (may be a token error), bellow > below, greatful > grateful, ungeatful > ungrateful (error & typo), fuel > fuels, hurry > hurries, can not > cannot. (0.0)
Characterization: I thought the character(s) (as they turned out) were quite well done. (1.0)
Dialog Flow: This flowed, although there was limited choices a lot of the time. (0.5)
Concept & Execution: (5.0 out of 6)
Originality/Creativity: I liked this idea � I have used something like this myself once. :) (1.0)
Logical Flow: Everything seemed fine here. (1.0)
Drama: I felt the module contained plenty of dramatic moments. (1.0)
Pacing: Although trapped, the pace did not increase beyond the start. (0.5)
Character Development: There was development in the NPCs. (0.75)
Multiple Paths: I have assumed at least three endings. (0.75)
Conclusion: Technically, this module scored average in the writing in my opinion. (1.5/3) The story scored above average in my opinion. (5.0/6). My personal score is 0.75 out of 1.0 because I thought the idea was original. Unfortunately, many errors in the writing and being a tad too linear made this one miss out on an exceptional score.
MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO):
< 5 Not up with the competition.
5 - 6 Average.
7 - 8 Above average.
> 8 An exceptional piece
PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES):
GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction?
PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices?
CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable?
SPELLING & GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors?
OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere & scenery, including sounds & props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Bobbsy at 2006-03-14 08:36:18 Voted 6.75 on 03/14/06
Decent writing (except for a few typos that maybe should have been picked up) but I had a real problem with the way the choices forced you down certain courses of action. Above average in some regards but not always to my taste.
Posted by emperorzog at 2006-03-13 13:10:54 Voted 7.75 on 03/13/06
I agree with Lorft completely. A good writing piece but one that made me feel drug around by the wrist. One of my all time irritations in any game is not clearly being able to see how my choice will affect the game.
In real life you have the ability to kind of foresee what may or may not happen based on what you do or say. In a game you only have a few options to pick from about what you do or say and so I feel that the path those options will lead you down should be fairly straightforward. Otherwise you end up with an ending that you actually would have never went to.
Still, you do display a talent with the written word, so despite the fact that you did comment one of my cardinal sins of gaming, I can't score you to badly or it. 7.75 (with 5.0 being average).
Posted by saraphinn at 2006-03-07 20:47:09 Voted 9.00 on 03/07/06
Very nice mod, good dialogue and characters.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-06 13:03:07 Voted 9.50 on 03/06/06
Excellent story, despise a few typos. I have to agree with Mike and Lorft that there should be some link between what the PC discovers about the past events and the way puzzles can be solved to reach one solution instead of another.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-03-05 15:19:57 Voted 9.50 on 03/05/06
Wonderful! This is one of the most creative and original modules I have seen in this contest sofar! You have taken full opportunity of everything the game has to offer: you tell an intruiging story, little by little, captivating the player's attention and curiosity more and more, gradually making him/her realise that there's more going on than a simple fetch quest. And you don't accomplish it through simple dialogue: oh no! The pieces of the story are artfully intertwined in the module's puzzle. I was actually so impressed that a large 10 had already formed in my mind... but then the finale came, and I was disappointed. Not because it is bad, but because I expected more. For one, I had hoped that the little pieces of the story that I had assembled sofar would matter in my final decision - they did not. Also, I had expected something darker, more ominous, more shocking going on.
But still: awesome work!
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-03-04 16:13:35 Voted 7.25 on 03/04/06
Locking the screen is annoying at the beginning. But the three problems, each with 3 solutions, plus the glimpses of the past make this one of the better ones I've played in awhile. Did all four endings. Should be seven endings. Did wonder why I was told to get the gem but not the correct way to get the gem?
_________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by nereng at 2006-03-02 08:33:08 Voted 8.00 on 03/02/06
...menial acts of magic for ungeatful... > ungrateful
The writing was good otherwise. Not much character development. It's an exemplary fetch-quest.
It seems like you haven't taken into account all the possible combinations of chipped/charred/normal gems?
Posted by Dnl_Jms_Frwrd at 2006-03-02 08:25:39 Voted 9.25 on 03/02/06
A very good module, especially the clever and creative way that the three NPC rule is adhered to. The writing and storytelling style were engaging, but I did notice the occasional spelling error.
I played through the module four times to see the various endings, and that fact alone is something of a testament to the author�s skill.
Posted by Lorft at 2006-02-26 05:19:18 Voted 8.00 on 02/26/06
Hello there,
I am currently going through modules with fewer than 10 votes trying to provide some constructive feedback.
Your module was fun, and the plot held my interest to the end. The writing was to a good standard. I also enjoyed the 'puzzle' elements and visuals, but no marks for them here.
On the not so good side, I felt somwhat railroaded. The outcome of the final conversation was based purely on the 'choices' made in the puzzle. While It was clear that each choice followed one of the three aspects, it took some re-reading to work out which solution was paired with an aspect. Without knowing the likly effect of my actions in the puzzle, In essence I had no choice within the closing dialog.
Overall I rate this module 8.0 - Good
If I had been able to directly speak with the other two spirits , with each offering me an incentive to do what they wished (and more insight into thier characters) this could have been better.
Hope this helps,
Lorft
Posted by Lonely Gecko at 2006-02-23 19:10:31 Voted 8.00 on 02/23/06
Good marks for the interesting concept. Overall, I liked this module quite a bit.
In terms of rating this game for a writing contest, there were many problems (grammar, language use, spelling/typos, etc.). This detracted from the dialogue as I had to stop in order to decipher sentences.
I played the game a few times. In the last scenario, I always got the full list of options re. the gems (scorched, fragments, etc.). This didn't seem to link with the actions my character took earlier in the game. The story options didn't mesh.
Good effort, "okay" follow-through.
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-07 12:38:30 Voted 9.00 on 02/07/06
Quite enjoyable as a sidequest, but I'm not how well it serves as a writing sample (and there were a few typos). Minor detail: there was a mention of being trapped in a sphinx statue, but that's not what the statue looked like.
Posted by mattd at 2006-01-31 15:04:50 Voted 9.50 on 01/31/06
Engaging story, well written. Interaction with player is good.
I wouldn't be unhappy with a version of this being used as a sidequest in NWN2.
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