Single Player only. Otherwise, things start blowing up.
Language
English
Level Range
Doesn't matter.
Races
Any
Tricks & Traps
Non-existent
Roleplay
Medium
Hack & Slash
Non-existent
Classes
Any
Scope
Small
DMNeeded
No DM Required
Single or Multiplayer
Single Player
Max Character Level
Any
Max # Players
01
Min # Players
01
Min Character Level
Any
Content Rating
Teen
Alignments
Doesn't matter.
Gameplay Hours
<1
Description
Shelter from the Storm
A (very) late BioWare Writing Contest Submission.
First of all, let me say that I know that this is super late and that it can't be evaluated by the BioWare judges or anything like that. It's just that I spent awhile on it, it was almost done by the deadline, and then I got sidetracked by other projects and didn't finish it until now. So, if you feel like it, give it a go and rate it as a Writing Contest submission. Your understanding is appreciated. :)
WORD COUNT: ~2800 in conversations. Counting journal entries and descriptions, I would say almost exactly 3000 words.
DESCRIPTION:While traveling in the Mistwood, a vicious thunder and lightning storm strikes. When a flash of lightning illuminates the area, you catch a glimpse of what appears to be the entrance to a crypt of some kind. Drenched and desperate to find Shelter from the Storm, you scramble over to the door, heave it open, and slam it shut behind you after stepping inside...
Posted by emperorzog at 2006-03-30 18:16:59 Voted 8.00 on 03/30/06
Hmmm... What to say here? This was a good entry by a writer who clearly knows what they are doing. Still, it seemed rushed and abrupt to me. I got the sense that the author would have done better with a longer game.
Overall though, it was good.
Posted by Hugie ( 72.43.xxx.xxx ) at 2006-03-22 19:45:17
@Lance:
Thanks for playing and for the great constructive feedback. :) Your opinion is much appreciated, and I agree with basically everything that you observed. :)
I know this module was entered too late to qualify, but I would like to be able to give feedback on a module where I know I shouldn�t receive a revenge vote. ;) Furthermore, because of this, I will not be adding the vote to be scored, but purely as feedback reference for the author. Please email me at �[email protected]� if required.
Text of Module: (The Writing/Characterisation/Dialog Flow): This was not bad overall, although there were some errors: Misuse of punctuation, capitalisation inconsistency, poor sentence structure (word order / added words.). (Missing words �fond of� perhaps.) I did spot a �can not� instead of �cannot� (eyeball the bard). Also re-appeared > reappeared. Some of the responses were rather wordy on occasion and our responses limited.
Concept & Execution: (Creativity/Logical Flow/Drama/Pacing/Character Development/Multiple Paths): I thought the �grab factor� was well done � I like a stormy setting: add one crypt, and it�s all spooky. ;) Once the story is underway, we find a murder mystery at the heart. Unfortunately, it unfolds in a rather linear fashion, and it is mostly a case of asking the questions in the correct order until the final decision has to be made, which I assume will give you the different paths � I chose the bard, although it was not substantiated beyond what we already knew. It turned out to be the correct answer from viewing the very abrupt end-scene.
Conclusion: This module was supported well with some reasonable scripting, and I thought the summoning of the brothers was quite a nice touch. I would like to have seen some tighter responses with some variety between the NPC�s questions: Although, due to the structure of the module, I can see why it was done this way. I would like to have been able to ask more of the bard at the end, before suggesting he was the murderer. This module had a very good start, but averaged out by the time we questioned the brothers. Final rating: Just above average.
MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO):
4.0 Normally means writing errors, low drama and pacing, and/or poor logical flow. (I did not want to finish it.)
6.0 Normally means few writing errors, some drama and/or pacing & logical flow fine. (I wanted to finish it.)
7.75+ Normally means none/very few typos, good drama and/or pacing. Good NPC development & endings.
PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES):
GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction?
PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices?
CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable?
SPELLING & GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors?
OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere & scenery, including sounds & props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
All the previous adventurers were..uhm.. very stupid... :) Then again, how often does the PC come across a hidden tomb that one would expect at least SOMEONE else to find and explore and raid in a game? I see what you mean, of course. Thanks for those two typos by email, btw--appreciated. I would have added more rebuttals had this been in one of my mods, but I was just at the wordcount counting journal entries and descriptions (or at least what I thought it was at the time--3000--it appears it's actually 3500, doh!), and I wanted to be careful about the rules. Thanks for the vote and feedback! :)
@nereng:
Thanks for the vote + comments! :) Much appreciated; I agree that the ending movie comes fast, but hey, it works. ;)
Posted by nereng at 2006-03-21 01:57:27 Voted 8.50 on 03/21/06
Another whodunnit, this time with restless spirits. Well written and good characters. The solution is logical enough. The end movie came a little abruptly.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-20 21:06:33 Voted 8.00 on 03/20/06
Nice set-up, background and description of NPCs, but the investigation was quite short and didn't allow counter-interrogation of the two brothers or the bard further to the others' declarations. In general, the dialogues were interesting and consistent, although I noticed a few mistakes when speaking with the second son. I was surprised to learn that no one had been able to find the solution for 628 years, and found that statistically unlikely with the scope of dialog options that were offered.
Posted by alklau at 2006-03-19 17:25:51 Voted 8.25 on 03/19/06
I must say it's not too bad at all! The only problem I would say with this is that there really is little interaction with the NPCs except perhaps with the bard. I would have liked to see the brothers have a chance to offer rebuttals to the other's arguments. This probably can be done even with the word limits by cutting down a bit on the number of lines that each has to say. I noticed a few missing words which I will have to note once I go through this a second time. Still, a job well done!
Posted by Hugie ( 207.69.xxx.xxx ) at 2006-03-19 07:40:51
@Althernai:
Thanks for the vote and glad it was enjoyable, if easy. :)
Cheers,
Hugie
Posted by Althernai at 2006-03-18 18:03:18 Voted 9.25 on 03/18/06
Not bad at all. The answer was somewhat obvious, but other than that a decent 10 minute mystery with good visual effects.
Posted by Aessinus at 2006-03-16 08:11:42 Voted 9.25 on 03/16/06
Great visuals, i had a hard time trying to figure out the riddle
(uh- couldn't find the typo) _________________________ Please don't forget to vote and leave feedback!
It's Free! :)
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-03-14 18:58:48 Voted 7.25 on 03/14/06
This is my 316th contest review with 1 being the lowest and 8.00 being the highest. This is a good solid module, though linear to the point you can't call back the bard until you've talked to the two brothers. Big question is, why couldn't I ask the brothers who the other 600+ dead people thought was guilty? Obviously none of them thought the guilty party was guilty. Guess they weren't too bright.
_________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by NullthraBloodeye at 2006-03-14 11:23:42 Voted 8.75 on 03/14/06
Very good writing and story. The player hook was perfect! I did like this one and your style is worthy. Great descriptions in the conversation.
A few minor suggestions and comments IMHO.
This one is however a bit wordy, but it is very well done, so that�s fine. I've seen similar plot concepts many times before but you make up for that very easily with solid dialogue. I think you used a few too many journals and would suggest two could do it, but again that can be reworked or revised at your choosing. A good module worthy of download and the contest. Thank you.
Thanks for taking the time to play and vote and leave feedback! :) I agree that the story's somewhat lacking, and the ending's abrupt--I think I'm gonna stick with full-length adventures from now on. It appears murder mysteries aren't really my thing... ;)
Posted by hmdai at 2006-03-14 08:09:34 Voted 8.00 on 03/14/06
The story is...something like...lacking...
I understand there is word limit for the dialouge. It is not surprise that there are not much information could be provided by both princes. I just judge by guess and I have got it luckily. However, if that is the case, it is too cruel for both princes as they have to be questioned over and over again for many years. The Gods have made a cruel joke on them.
Also, it is really difficult to judge as there are not "evidence", and all involved are long dead (except the bard).
Another problem is, the bard could finally rest. However, the mod does not provide enough time for me to check the dialouge. It just end and I don't know what happens.
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