Surrounded on top of a hill, you command the soldiers of Ardorin against the invading Orcs of Grumbar. The King himself lies trapped with the troops, waiting for your plan to break the siege.
Time is running out and it seems the Orcs are on the move...
Posted by Kirian at 2006-03-16 15:32:49 Voted 8.75 on 03/16/06
A very enjoyable and versatile module! The story was gripping: I could almost feel the ghostly fingers of claustrofobic desparation of that small hill reaching for my throat. I liked the open ending as well. Very well done!
The few qualms I have have been mentioned by previous voters: dialogue options that won't go away when they have been dealt with, and a few annoying typos.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-09 18:34:14 Voted 7.50 on 03/09/06
Promising story with solid NPCs' descriptions and personalities. However, given the word limits, I felt that the author should have focused on the core of the module instead of spreading his idea on secondary issues & characters through a liberal interpretation of the contest rules. Besides, I didn't like the fact that the role of the PC was pre-determined by the story.
Posted by Stravinsky00 at 2006-02-13 19:44:49 Voted 8.25 on 02/13/06
Well, I do honestly agree that this does not meet the requirements of only 3 talking NPCs, but I'll leave that up to Bioware to decide in the end. The module itself is fairly well put together...I would have liked a chance to actually convince the counselor to back my choice of deciding to stand and fight, but other than that it was well crafted and the writing was in general quite good.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-02-12 20:32:58 Voted 7.00 on 02/12/06
Many conversations talked about things that hadn't happened yet. Giving him the lance had no effect. Very hard to figure out how to end. You can ask about the king's health after he is dead, etc. Some good scripting. Too bad that doesn't count. _________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Thanks for your feedback. On a previous version of this module I had a lot more NPC archers just standing guard around the camp, male and female. That NPC you talked to probably had a bogus reminiscence of that version.
Thanks for pointing that out. If the portrait you saw was of a male, then the voiceset should have been a male as well.
F1
Posted by Tangent Kaufman at 2006-02-10 07:17:18 Voted 9.00 on 02/10/06
Well done. I enjoyed it! I won't bother to bring up the topic of the rules, seeing how I don't even know what the rules are. One thing I noticed is that the Human Archer NPC has a female voiceset. That was ... strange.
Posted by Tangent Kaufman at 2006-02-10 07:16:45 Voted 9.00 on 02/10/06
Well done. I enjoyed it! I won't bother to bring up the topic of the rules, seeing how I don't even know what the rules are. One thing I noticed is that the Human Archer NPC has a female voiceset. That was ... strange.
Posted by Divenen at 2006-02-07 12:15:17 Voted 9.25 on 02/07/06
I liked the story, and good dialogue. The ending seemed clear enough for me. Keep up the good work.
Posted by Sze'Las at 2006-02-07 12:11:36 Voted 10.00 on 02/07/06
I'm voting a 10/10. Well done. _________________________ Chaos is just a kind of order you don't understand!
Proud supporter of award winning module author Markus "Wayne" Schlegel.
I did follow the instructions as best I understood them, and I did research the forums and participated at the discussions when they were defining them.
The fact that there were only 3 NPCs in a 4x4 area from which you could retrieve meaningful dialogue to me is the pivotal rule, added to the word limit.
Some others used scripts. I added named characters to give my story a bigger approach. If I violated the rules, it was not because I ignored them, but because I took the liberty of interpreting them to my benefit.
F1
Posted by The_Krit at 2006-02-05 01:12:58 Voted 8.00 on 02/05/06
A decent module. It would have been better if the dialog options did not persist. (I found them distracting, and the recap at the end allows for an exploration of the dialog trees. By the way, the recap was a nice touch.) It took me a little while to get oriented, but I quickly caught on to what was happening. The ending was a bit understated; perhaps the final journal entry could have been incorporated into the dialog for greater effect?
My one major gripe I have is that I couldn't make a decision without finding the lance. It seems to me that there should have been two more endings in which you did not complete that part of the story.
Posted by RobFaeth at 2006-02-04 21:27:54 Voted 6.00 on 02/04/06
Sorry! Started posting under my g/f's account! Corelania (above), or rather what she allegedly wrote there, is actually by me. Let me continue.
*ahem* To sum up, you went way beyond what the rules allowed. Also, there were a lot of dialogue options which ran me around in circles. Your ending was . . . odd. I couldn't tell if it ended, and I didn't know what happened based on my decisions. It felt like my decisions effected the plot, but if that plot didn't have an outcome, did it really matter? Did I win the battle or not? Did the barbarians come or not?
After the first attack, it constantly had me under attack (and I could give orders to the troops). You also made artillery invincible. You could easily deter the enemy with that every time. It would be cool if you could've had randomization options on it, and things changing due to the order you did them in. There were a few other scripting errors which bothered me, or interrupted flow of the story, but nothing truly devestating.
There was also something of the structure that bothered me. I didn't always have many dialogue options, my character was largely pre-defined, and I wasn't given sufficient background or exposition (though I did appreciate being flung into the action. It helped keep my attention).
So, yeah, to conclude on the negative, I felt you really should've kept inside the rules of the module, you had some dialogue and scripting problems (which were bad enough that they did distract), your ending was unsatisfying, I didn't feel I had enough options, and the structure was very "un-sidequest-ish" (not that I'm one to talk on that particular problem).
On the positive side, your writing was very good. I really enjoyed most of it (though I did note a few grammar and/or spelling errors. I can't recall them now, though, so that's probably a good sign that they weren't that bad). You had an original concept to put out there, and it was very refreshing to play. I think you had some good character ideas, as well as some good storytelling talents.
Also, I liked being able to review alternate dialogue options at the end. Nice touch.
First of all, congratulations. You have a unique story and concept, and you held my attention (for the most part). Let me begin with the negative.
First, as many people have cited, you went WAY beyond the rules of the contest. You have doubled the amount of NPCs that the rules allowed for you, and I feel this is a serious issue. If you can't stick to the rules of the contest, can you really follow the instructions given at Bioware?
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-02-03 10:34:20 Voted 8.75 on 02/03/06
Good atmosphere. My only real complaint is that this isn't a side-quest. (I wonder how many invoke the "breaks contest rules" clause as a cheap shot...)
Posted by plepis at 2006-02-03 09:05:44 Voted 9.50 on 02/03/06
i really like all of ends! fine work F1
Posted by Nailius at 2006-02-03 08:53:11 Voted 5.00 on 02/03/06
Was this a good module? Yes.
Was the story good? Yes.
Did I enjoy playing this? Yes.
Does this conform to the rules of the contest? No.
There were 3 NPCs that you could initiate a dialog with and 2 that initiated one with you. The rules say 4 characters, 3 NPCs and the PC, and you have at least 5 major NPCs that have meaningful conversations; this is stepping a bit overboard. A lot of other modules stuck to just NPCs, I think the rules were pretty clear on this point.
This story deserves to be told, but I think it would be better served to be made into a regular module that could be shared with the community, then you would be able to get into all the details you wanted to. Some things just can�t be condensed down into the format required. I had a great idea for a module submission, but as I worked on it I realized that I was not going to be able to do it with just 3 NPCs, so now I am expanding it and just making the story for the sake of the story, and I think this module suffers from the same problem, except you just went ahead and added the extra stuff anyway.
Also, I would advise you to run your conversations through a word processor, the spelling and grammar check can really help you clean things up, I noticed only a few spelling errors but several grammatical ones.
I would like to give a few cheers and jeers to the ending, while they were kind of abrupt and there was only 2 real *final* endings, I never really felt like that was a problem, much to your credit. I�ve played modules with many endings where I felt like there was less variety then in yours, very good.
The atmosphere was done well, some of your scripting was a little off and that made the module play a less well than it could, because I was able to do some things I maybe should not have been able to, seeing dialog choices over and over or finding the spear right off without ever having talked to the ghost, there are ways to script around that, and it would make for an easier playing experience if you cleaned this up.
Posted by Elgyth at 2006-02-03 07:58:21 Voted 9.50 on 02/03/06
Why 9.50? I enjoyed it. The scenery and atmosphere made me feel like there was some tension before I even had a chance to speak with the first NPC. I tok some time to listen and feel. Each of the NPCs had an important role and the dialogue kept the story flowing.
It's funny I am getting bad reviews due to the fact that I have other "named" NPCs appearing in the dialogue trees. I did read the rules and participated in discussing them in the BioWare Forums, and I feel I have not infringed them whatsoever.
Please keep in mind that there was nowhere in the rules stating you could not have "named" characters other than the 3 NPCs in the area appearing in the dialogue. The only restriction was that physically there could only be 3 NPCs from which you could retrieve a relevant dialogue.
Thanks for the comments, but don't let this detail hinder your ratings. I do want a shot a winning this contest.
F1
Posted by Tarqu1n at 2006-02-02 11:55:04 Voted 6.75 on 02/02/06
This is an excellent module, with well written dialogue. My only problem with it is that it has indeed broken the rules: There only should be 4 speaking characters, including the PC, and you have, not counting the soldiers, The Captain, the counselor, the king, The witch,Talenor plus the PC, which makes 6. I could also include the ghost of the counselor's son which makes 7! I have a real problem with this because many other stuck to the confines of the rules. That said, I really do like your writing. It's a tough call.
If you go and talk to the NPCs again after the final decision, there is an additional dialogue tree indicating their opinion about your decision. It is kind of hard to "end" the story and yet have the PC and NPCs still in the same scene.
I opted for a final Journal entry and NPCs' final comments mainly because I couldn't think of another way to end the module.
Thanks for the comments, though.
F1
Posted by Meerclaw at 2006-02-02 11:02:32 Voted 8.25 on 02/02/06
An extremely well designed module, with good writing and fun gameplay. The story is well implimented and flows nicely.
The only real weakness in ternms of writing lies in the develpoment of the personality of the NPCs. I felt the strongest of the main protagonists (aside from the PC, who had an excellent array of dialogue options in the main) was the female mage/priest.
So, overall in my opinion, this module rates an 8.25
Posted by exerma at 2006-02-02 10:28:21 Voted 6.00 on 02/02/06
I thought that the idea behind this module was pretty neat and it was clear what I was supposed to do next. The scripting worked smoothly and the journal entries were written really well.
However, i thought there were too many times where there was only one (or not enough) dialogue option for the player and many of the conversations ended abrutly. I also noticed that there were several speaking characters, which probably violates the no more than 3 NPCs rule. Still, the module was quite enjoyable.
Posted by hmdai at 2006-02-02 10:10:18 Voted 8.75 on 02/02/06
I just repost the comment from the vote:
The story has cast some difficulties to the PC that require the PC to make a hard decision.
Interesting conversation trees and good use of atmosphere. I did keep waiting to be attacked from inside the camp, but that's a minor quibble. At least there wasn't anything "ho hum" about the plot! Very entertaining. _________________________ Project Manager, Sojourney
Posted by twh7 at 2006-02-01 19:20:24 Voted 8.00 on 02/01/06
Very good. I enjoyed the story and think the battle descriptions were excellent; I also enjoyed the way the PC had to make tough decisions and stick with them, not falter; and the way some NPC remained stubborn to the end. Speaking of which, I wish the ending was more pronounced and definite. Ejoyed the battle descriptions and the influence of decision-making on the battle outcomes. Could have used the conversation lines to change a bit. I enjoyed this one...
Posted by Rhonair at 2006-02-01 18:52:53 Voted 8.75 on 02/01/06
Wow.
I am really impressed by the complete immersion in this world. The use of sound, the levels of the hill . . . everything really pulled me into the module.
I'm not going to enter the debate about the number of NPCs; I figure that's a realm best explored by people who know what they are talking about. I did feel that it was, at the very least, a very creative "bending" of the rules and I hope that it's not held against you at all.
My only issues (well, about your module):
Too many names were thrown at me in the opening few lines. I know that you were trying to put the PC right into the middle of the battle, but it felt like I was supposed to make "life and death" decisions without crucial information.
I also felt that some of my decisions had no real effect on the game, especially since some of the decisions could be made over and over again.
*spoiler-alert* Lastly, the game left me "hanging" at the end. I played it a couple of times, just to be certain, but I still didn't get any sort of resolution (other than the title).
Bottom-line: Thank you for letting me "live" in this world. It was very involving, even if a little confusing.
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