Surrounded on top of a hill, you command the soldiers of Ardorin against the invading Orcs of Grumbar. The King himself lies trapped with the troops, waiting for your plan to break the siege.
Time is running out and it seems the Orcs are on the move...
I'm voting a 10/10. Well done. _________________________ Chaos is just a kind of order you don't understand! Proud supporter of award winning module author Markus "Wayne" Schlegel.
Posted by Faceless at 2006-02-0520:11:40
I did follow the instructions as best I understood them, and I did research the forums and participated at the discussions when they were defining them. The fact that there were only 3 NPCs in a 4x4 area from which you could retrieve meaningful dialogue to me is the pivotal rule, added to the word limit. Some others used scripts. I added named characters to give my story a bigger approach. If I violated the rules, it was not because I ignored them, but because I took the liberty of interpreting them to my benefit. F1
Posted by The_Krit at on02/05/06
A decent module. It would have been better if the dialog options did not persist. (I found them distracting, and the recap at the end allows for an exploration of the dialog trees. By the way, the recap was a nice touch.) It took me a little while to get oriented, but I quickly caught on to what was happening. The ending was a bit understated; perhaps the final journal entry could have been incorporated into the dialog for greater effect? My one major gripe I have is that I couldn't make a decision without finding the lance. It seems to me that there should have been two more endings in which you did not complete that part of the story.
Posted by RobFaeth at on02/04/06
Sorry! Started posting under my g/f's account! Corelania (above), or rather what she allegedly wrote there, is actually by me. Let me continue. *ahem* To sum up, you went way beyond what the rules allowed. Also, there were a lot of dialogue options which ran me around in circles. Your ending was . . . odd. I couldn't tell if it ended, and I didn't know what happened based on my decisions. It felt like my decisions effected the plot, but if that plot didn't have an outcome, did it really matter? Did I win the battle or not? Did the barbarians come or not? After the first attack, it constantly had me under attack (and I could give orders to the troops). You also made artillery invincible. You could easily deter the enemy with that every time. It would be cool if you could've had randomization options on it, and things changing due to the order you did them in. There were a few other scripting errors which bothered me, or interrupted flow of the story, but nothing truly devestating. There was also something of the structure that bothered me. I didn't always have many dialogue options, my character was largely pre-defined, and I wasn't given sufficient background or exposition (though I did appreciate being flung into the action. It helped keep my attention). So, yeah, to conclude on the negative, I felt you really should've kept inside the rules of the module, you had some dialogue and scripting problems (which were bad enough that they did distract), your ending was unsatisfying, I didn't feel I had enough options, and the structure was very "un-sidequest-ish" (not that I'm one to talk on that particular problem). On the positive side, your writing was very good. I really enjoyed most of it (though I did note a few grammar and/or spelling errors. I can't recall them now, though, so that's probably a good sign that they weren't that bad). You had an original concept to put out there, and it was very refreshing to play. I think you had some good character ideas, as well as some good storytelling talents. Also, I liked being able to review alternate dialogue options at the end. Nice touch. Overall, good work, and good luck on the contest!
Posted by corelania at 2006-02-0420:56:41
First of all, congratulations. You have a unique story and concept, and you held my attention (for the most part). Let me begin with the negative. First, as many people have cited, you went WAY beyond the rules of the contest. You have doubled the amount of NPCs that the rules allowed for you, and I feel this is a serious issue. If you can't stick to the rules of the contest, can you really follow the instructions given at Bioware?
Posted by thegeorge at on02/03/06
Good atmosphere. My only real complaint is that this isn't a side-quest. (I wonder how many invoke the "breaks contest rules" clause as a cheap shot...)
Posted by plepis at on02/03/06
i really like all of ends! fine work F1
Posted by Nailius at on02/03/06
Was this a good module? Yes. Was the story good? Yes. Did I enjoy playing this? Yes. Does this conform to the rules of the contest? No. There were 3 NPCs that you could initiate a dialog with and 2 that initiated one with you. The rules say 4 characters, 3 NPCs and the PC, and you have at least 5 major NPCs that have meaningful conversations; this is stepping a bit overboard. A lot of other modules stuck to just NPCs, I think the rules were pretty clear on this point. This story deserves to be told, but I think it would be better served to be made into a regular module that could be shared with the community, then you would be able to get into all the details you wanted to. Some things just can?t be condensed down into the format required. I had a great idea for a module submission, but as I worked on it I realized that I was not going to be able to do it with just 3 NPCs, so now I am expanding it and just making the story for the sake of the story, and I think this module suffers from the same problem, except you just went ahead and added the extra stuff anyway. Also, I would advise you to run your conversations through a word processor, the spelling and grammar check can really help you clean things up, I noticed only a few spelling errors but several grammatical ones. I would like to give a few cheers and jeers to the ending, while they were kind of abrupt and there was only 2 real *final* endings, I never really felt like that was a problem, much to your credit. I?ve played modules with many endings where I felt like there was less variety then in yours, very good. The atmosphere was done well, some of your scripting was a little off and that made the module play a less well than it could, because I was able to do some things I maybe should not have been able to, seeing dialog choices over and over or finding the spear right off without ever having talked to the ghost, there are ways to script around that, and it would make for an easier playing experience if you cleaned this up.
Posted by Elgyth at on02/03/06
Why 9.50? I enjoyed it. The scenery and atmosphere made me feel like there was some tension before I even had a chance to speak with the first NPC. I tok some time to listen and feel. Each of the NPCs had an important role and the dialogue kept the story flowing.
Posted by Faceless at 2006-02-0213:50:04
Hi, It's funny I am getting bad reviews due to the fact that I have other "named" NPCs appearing in the dialogue trees. I did read the rules and participated in discussing them in the BioWare Forums, and I feel I have not infringed them whatsoever. Please keep in mind that there was nowhere in the rules stating you could not have "named" characters other than the 3 NPCs in the area appearing in the dialogue. The only restriction was that physically there could only be 3 NPCs from which you could retrieve a relevant dialogue. Thanks for the comments, but don't let this detail hinder your ratings. I do want a shot a winning this contest. F1
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