Posted by MrGhosh at 2009-05-25 17:29:43 Voted 2.00 on 05/25/09
This is a waste of Time. Nothing much in this module. _________________________ Neverwinter Balance Patch Balance Patch
Votes according to Strict guideline. See the guideline page Link
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into
(")_(") your signature to help him gain world domination.
Posted by morloc at 2007-08-19 21:36:06 Voted 10.00 on 08/19/07
Discovered this mod while searching for mods I haven't played. Though short the storyline is excellent and very different. Wish I had found it earlier. Good work.
Posted by wmb1957 at 2007-08-15 20:40:41 Voted 10.00 on 08/15/07
Nice job. Not the usual mod but I like variety. thank you for something different.
Posted by mmdeforrest at 2007-07-27 20:07:55 Voted 8.00 on 07/27/07
Good for what it is -- an interesting encounter but more of a horror story than an adventure.
Posted by fardoche77 at 2007-05-03 11:13:46 Voted 8.00 on 05/03/07
This is a good, disturbing tale with interesting characters. However, i cannot see how my character made any impact on the story's ending.
Posted by alklau at 2006-03-30 23:58:59 Voted 8.50 on 03/30/06
I can see how the girl does not appeal to everyone, but I thought her a realistic and tragic character.
Posted by Rayna34 at 2006-03-26 15:55:34 Voted 6.75 on 03/26/06
I would have thought the more appropriate solution would be to correct the cause of the problem. I would guess that might have been a spell of some kind.
Having said that, the language used to describe the tale was good, effective enough for the tale at hand.
Posted by Arik at 2006-03-19 04:13:57 Voted 8.50 on 03/19/06
One of the more emotive contest modules, simply due to its bleakness - the characters are all damaged, and there's never any real cure in sight. Structurally it isn't really as interesting as a lot of other modules - it boils down to seeing a problem and deciding on one of two solutions - and there often aren't a lot of options in dialogue, but I think the sense of alienation that the characters evoke adds to the module immensely.
Posted by Helden at 2006-03-18 13:07:39 Voted 5.00 on 03/18/06
I found that I could not warm to the girl in this module. The direction I wanted to take when speaking to her kept ending the conversation and I found that frustrating. The lack of urgency or pace in the module did not help. If this girl is so destructive and tortured how has she survived this long without either someone helping her or my preference, doing away with her?
Posted by rjfnccii at 2006-03-18 09:46:18 Voted 4.50 on 03/18/06
I really am not sure why this module has done so well. I can say that the writing was of a good quality. The problems I have with this however, are that the girl was utterly unlikeable.
Aside from this I didn't like the painter. I felt his language was distracting.
Posted by imported_beer at 2006-03-09 11:27:35 Voted 7.75 on 03/09/06
Again, very nicely written quest, but oh my god, I'd rather the girl remained cursed because she was not too eager to be helped was she? Mostly the dialogue options seemed superficial in what they purported. But overall, a solid module.
Posted by Lance Botelle at 2006-03-09 06:29:42 Voted 4.25 on 03/09/06
4.25 MIRROR (190TH TESTED MODULE)
This is my updated scoring system structured around the format provided by Bioware. The final score is still consistent with my old system, but I hope to give clearer feedback within the new guidelines. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible. Remember, this is only my opinion; Bioware�s is the one that counts! If you believe I have scored your module unfairly, or I have missed something of importance, please email me at �[email protected]� and I will consider any comments made.
All nine Bioware points can score a maximum of 1 point each, leaving 1 point for my personal interest/like of the module.
Text of Module: (1.25 out of 3)
The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I noticed use of modern language (crying already!), misuse of punctuation and poor sentence structure. Also frantically spelt incorrect. (0.5)
Characterization: The NPCs felt too orchestrated to fit the plot. I did not even need to talk to the executioner unless I wanted that route. (0.25)
Dialog Flow: The girl�s �being awake like a nightmare� was not obvious in the route I first took. (0.5)
Concept & Execution: (2.5 out of 6)
Originality/Creativity: I liked the idea of a cursed girl, but it was very orchestrated. (0.5)
Logical Flow: There were too many unanswered questions to make this feel logical to me. Why is the girl here now and not hiding away? Where did we get a mirror? (0.5)
Drama: Having the mirror break was a moment of drama. There was otherwise, very little excitement. (0.25)
Pacing: There was no pacing beyond running between the different NPCs. (0.25)
Character Development: The girl changes depending on route taken. (0.25)
Multiple Paths: I have allowed for three endings. (0.75)
Conclusion: Technically, this module scored below average in the writing in my opinion. (1.25/3). The story scored below average in my opinion. (2.5/6). My personal score is 0.5 out of 1.0. I thought the idea was quite a good one, but it was far too orchestrated. I cannot see why this one scored so highly. Sorry.
MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO):
< 5 Not up with the competition.
5 - 6 Average.
7 - 8 Above average.
> 8 An exceptional piece
PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES):
GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction?
PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices?
CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable?
SPELLING & GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors?
OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere & scenery, including sounds & props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by merv254 at 2006-03-05 21:57:30 Voted 8.00 on 03/05/06
Very interesting, cerebral (in a good way)
Posted by Mister_Leebo at 2006-03-04 13:35:10 Voted 8.25 on 03/04/06
While it's an interesting story with good characters, I was mostly disappointed to realize my initial question concerning the girl's problem (what caused it?) was never announced or even given the option to be addressed.
Neither solution provides a remedy that relates to the cause of the affliction so I'm left wondering if this "problem" were to crop up again would the solution still be to poke out people's eyes or put them to sleep forever? Such band-aid remedies (peculiar as they may be) certainly wouldn't work on the large scale and I felt it was very strange that no one seemed concerned about the cause of the curse or its origins whatsoever, and were content to live out their happy lives in ignorance of whatever threat is causing everything.
In the end, I'm sure a lot of these complaints can be swept away as "limitations of the contest rules" but I truly feel that the girl's background should have played a bigger role in the search for remedies.
Posted by thegeorge at 2006-03-02 08:54:17 Voted 9.75
It was easy for me to bring extra attention to such a worthy contest entry. I too hope it wins something.
Posted by Dnl_Jms_Frwrd at 2006-03-02 05:55:16 Voted 9.75 on 02/24/06
Hi,
To answer your query, I think the painter is the weakest of the three NPCs mainly for personal and subjective reasons. I�ve a great love of flawed, damaged or otherwise malfunctioning characters (such as the other two) and he doesn�t really have a problem as such, just a bizarre talent and the abstract mindset that comes with it. Also, because his premise isn�t as easily explained as the others, I didn�t get the same sense of immediate empathy and understanding that I did with them. Lastly, and just to reiterate what I wrote with my vote, because the other NPCs are so well-imagined and well-realised, he comes off seeming a little less than ideal by comparison.
Anyway, I�ve played a fair chunk of these modules and I can safely say that yours is my favourite thus far � and I can�t really foresee that changing either. I think it�d be something of a travesty if you don�t finish in the top five, especially since you�ve created something truly wonderful without bending, or even pushing, any of the contest�s rules.
Good luck,
Dan Forward.
Posted by Maerdicul at 2006-03-01 20:41:16 Voted 9.50 on 03/01/06
good writing, very creative ideas, interesting characters. sorry 'bout the brief comments, but no time ... chasing after the white rabbit.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-03-01 10:24:57 Voted 9.50 on 02/16/06
Wow, great feedback after so many weeks of silence. I'm very happy to finally see your module on the Search engine; it certainly deserves it. Although thegeorge's recommendation was instrumental to get some attention on your module, I think that Nereng's "Lurker" list was very efficient to gather the number of votes required to reach a larger audience. Good luck.
Posted by emperorzog at 2006-03-01 10:04:23 Voted 8.00 on 02/28/06
While I can understand your point about feeling that giving all sorts of extra motivation would be wasted in this contest, I don't agree with it. Part of any good story is giving the player options which they would like to select and still letting them play through.
Frankly, I didn't want to help this girl and I selected options which I would actually pick in real life. This however ended the conversation and would not allow me to play through to any of the endings.
I guess my advise to you here is that you really should make an attempt to appeal to as many players as you can with as many different motivations as you can.
It is interesting to me to hear that you didn't try to convey any of the feelings I had towards your game. I suppose we see what we want to see. Still, it really seemed to me that you were pointing in that "reality is a point of view" direction. Either way, don't rock the boat on that cause that is the part I liked the most about your game! Good job all around.
charonalpha, I tested thegeorge�s suggestion and it works. It�s also very simple, so I�d be very happy if you tried it. The only expansion content I used was the portrait for one of the characters, and it really doesn�t matter too much (if it�s from SoU you can replace it with the �hu_m_02_� portrait or something, so you won�t have to talk to a giant, shinning white square). I would have uploaded a vanilla version myself, but I don�t know if that�s allowed.
Gilthonym, I just can�t tell you how much I appreciate you comment. Having 43 downloads with no feedback whatsoever was very disappointing and I was beginning to wonder if it�s just too horrible to mention or something like that. Finding out that there is at least one person out there that �got it� was quite a relief (or, in short, �No, thank you�).
Also, I�d like to thank anyone who played it, and especially those who voted. Specifically I�d like to thank thegeorge and herrjeff for mentioning it on the writing contest recommendations thread.
And now � Spoilers �n� Stuff.
I�ll start with the most common criticism � the lack of choices. I can�t say I don�t agree. I think that the main reason it happened is that I greatly underestimated the length certain parts would grow to (namely the painter�s introduction and explaining the two �solutions�), and so instead of requiring two or three nodes they became a series of about ten nodes with nothing but �continue� or single-choices between them. Other than that it was mostly due to word count and deadline, and I agree I should have expanded these parts. If anyone can tell me of places where they wanted to say something specific and couldn�t (like herrjeff�s idea) I�d be grateful.
herrjeff, presenting the girl with both options is an interesting idea that I didn�t think about. Perhaps I should have allowed it, but even in that case the girl would have to avoid the responsibility and leave the choice with the player. One reason is that if the player isn�t making the choice it weakens the story�s effect greatly (I think), and another is that if the girl chose one over the other it would harm the symmetry I was trying to keep. For the same reason I avoided alignment shifts � I don�t see one option as being �good� and the other �evil�, and even if I did I wouldn�t want to force this interpretation on the player. My point of view is that they are not that different from each other, and I didn�t want to imply otherwise.
Dnl_Jms_Frwrd, what you said about the painter rather surprised me. It might be helpful if you can explain why you think that. Maybe it�s because I had too much to say about him that had very little to do with the �quest� (and so I said some bits of it and fell between the chairs), or maybe he is just more stereotypical.
Kirian, I can understand why you found the solutions too drastic, but I thought they fit quite right. The unwritten agreement between the game and the player, signed when the girl first explains her problem, clearly states (or so I hoped) that things of that nature are to be expected. In other words � unrealistic, dramatic and drastic problems call for unrealistic, dramatic and drastic solutions� As for the �therapy� solution � that would have been the easy way out, and in the scope of the competition I could not find a way to make it hard enough to justify the warm, fuzzy felling. If this was a part of a larger module I would definitely have included a �therapy-type� solution, but the player would have to work much harder for it.
emperorzog, much of what you said concerns the character�s motivation to get involved. To be completely honest you are right � unless he is a Good Samaritan, a curios fellow or a mean, scheming bastard he has close to none. Following the �side quest� guideline I decided not to concern myself with making sure every character imaginable will have a reason to get involved, rewards, and other strings that are normally needed to tie side quests to a bigger game. These things seem, to me, counterproductive when used out of place. For example, I would feel silly writing and scripting dialogue options about rewards when the player has absolutely nothing to do with it, since the game ends with that quest (kind of like getting xp reward for killing the game�s Big Bad). The real motivation at work here is of the meta-gaming variety and is the player�s interest to see (or experience) the story. I found it acceptable considering the format of the contest. All in all I think this is a matter of personal taste, and I�m sorry it was not to your liking.
I�m very glad to see that it resonated with you, especially because my interpretation of it is very different from yours. It�s interesting (and somewhat humbling) how someone can find in it things I did not intentionally put there. I have no idea what to make of it, but it sure is interesting�
Posted by emperorzog at 2006-02-28 13:03:49 Voted 8.00 on 02/28/06
I was drawn to look at your story by how well it is done so far. I have to say after having played it though that I was let down. Not because of your writing, or your imagination, but because it is a game.
I will attempt to point at what I enjoyed and then to point out how I think you could have done a better job. First, you are a very imaginative writer who makes good use of language. Your story is very different from any other I have played so far and you earn major points with me for that.
The downside to me though is the girl herself. Frankly, she is a real B#@*&! I assume you are trying to convey her sense of being hopeless and her bitterness at her situation. If that is the case you should offer some sort of reward for the player to help her.
If my character is not just some good Samaritan then I have no reason to aid her at all. In fact, even if I was a nice guy I wouldn't likely help her because she is so rude to me. That is a real flaw in the story for me. Give me a reason to be part of the story. Sadly, in your story I didn't really have one.
I also had a number of occasions where I had only a single dialogue option and that is a problem for me. I like variety and sometimes I felt like I didn't have it. I notice only two endings and while this counts as multiple resolution it is just so. I would have liked to see more ways to conclude it.
I did not agree with the other voters about not having a satisfactory way to end the module. I thought you did a good job of conveying that reality is a point of view. Dreams are only another form of reality. What is real? Only ever what you perceive to be so.
I very much agree with that notion in my own life so your story resonated with me on that level. I think you have a very solid idea that came off a little lacking in the execution. With some more work on it though, this could have been a really great piece.
With all these great comments, I wish I could play the mod, but I don't have Shadows of Unrentide :(
Posted by Althernai at 2006-02-26 13:37:22 Voted 9.75 on 02/26/06
That was... deeply disturbing. A mod without anything even vaguely near a happy ending. But it is quite unique and the writing is very good.
Posted by Kirian at 2006-02-26 05:08:11 Voted 8.50 on 02/26/06
Beautiful and sad. Both options presented to 'solve' the problem where horrible. They made for good drama, but they were way too drastic to be viable if I really had the choice. The poor girl just needs some therapy to cope with her problem, for gods sake! ;)
Still, a worthy entry; one that managed to touch me.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at 2006-02-25 16:24:19 Voted 7.50 on 02/25/06
Very interesting. Very good writing. Two good endings. Perhaps unique to contest.
_________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by TheSupremeForce at 2006-02-25 13:36:01 Voted 9.50 on 02/25/06
This is a very creative piece of work, and far too impressive to have so few votes.
Posted by Dnl_Jms_Frwrd at 2006-02-24 14:05:26 Voted 9.75 on 02/24/06
Of all the modules I�ve played thus far this one did the best job of hooking me into the situation right from the very first line of dialogue. Beyond that, I thought that the story was superbly surreal and strangely elegant, in a minimalist kind of way, and that the characters were unique and memorable.
My only problem with it was that I didn�t find the painter as fully formed or emotive as the other two, but that was only because the girl and the executioner were so compelling rather than him actually being inadequate.
Posted by herrjeff at 2006-02-16 06:49:20 Voted 9.50 on 02/16/06
Excellent module, with developed NPCs, consistent dialogs and a good scope of options that leads to a difficult choice (I would suggest to add an alignment shift though). Word count permitting, this mod could be improved by allowing the PC to request a reward for his actions.
The girl should be allowed to know there are two solutions, rather than limiting the PC to present only one choice. Also, as indicated before, some replies would be linear if the PC fails an INT check, and would eventually lead to the same conclusion.
Site
at 2013-05-02 19:50:59
at 2006-03-09 06:29:42
at 2006-03-02 08:54:17
at 2006-02-25 16:24:19
