I found that I could not warm to the girl in this module. The direction I wanted to take when speaking to her kept ending the conversation and I found that frustrating. The lack of urgency or pace in the module did not help. If this girl is so destructive and tortured how has she survived this long without either someone helping her or my preference, doing away with her?
Posted by rjfnccii at on03/18/06
I really am not sure why this module has done so well. I can say that the writing was of a good quality. The problems I have with this however, are that the girl was utterly unlikeable. Aside from this I didn't like the painter. I felt his language was distracting.
Posted by imported_beer at on03/09/06
Again, very nicely written quest, but oh my god, I'd rather the girl remained cursed because she was not too eager to be helped was she? Mostly the dialogue options seemed superficial in what they purported. But overall, a solid module.
Posted by Lance at on03/09/06
4.25 MIRROR (190TH TESTED MODULE) This is my updated scoring system structured around the format provided by Bioware. The final score is still consistent with my old system, but I hope to give clearer feedback within the new guidelines. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible. Remember, this is only my opinion; Bioware?s is the one that counts! If you believe I have scored your module unfairly, or I have missed something of importance, please email me at ?email_althea@blueyonder.co.uk? and I will consider any comments made. All nine Bioware points can score a maximum of 1 point each, leaving 1 point for my personal interest/like of the module. Text of Module: (1.25 out of 3) The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I noticed use of modern language (crying already!), misuse of punctuation and poor sentence structure. Also frantically spelt incorrect. (0.5) Characterization: The NPCs felt too orchestrated to fit the plot. I did not even need to talk to the executioner unless I wanted that route. (0.25) Dialog Flow: The girl?s ?being awake like a nightmare? was not obvious in the route I first took. (0.5) Concept Execution: (2.5 out of 6) Originality/Creativity: I liked the idea of a cursed girl, but it was very orchestrated. (0.5) Logical Flow: There were too many unanswered questions to make this feel logical to me. Why is the girl here now and not hiding away? Where did we get a mirror? (0.5) Drama: Having the mirror break was a moment of drama. There was otherwise, very little excitement. (0.25) Pacing: There was no pacing beyond running between the different NPCs. (0.25) Character Development: The girl changes depending on route taken. (0.25) Multiple Paths: I have allowed for three endings. (0.75) Conclusion: Technically, this module scored below average in the writing in my opinion. (1.25/3). The story scored below average in my opinion. (2.5/6). My personal score is 0.5 out of 1.0. I thought the idea was quite a good one, but it was far too orchestrated. I cannot see why this one scored so highly. Sorry. MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO): 5 Not up with the competition. 5 - 6 Average. 7 - 8 Above average. > 8 An exceptional piece PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES): GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction? PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices? CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable? SPELLING GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors? OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere scenery, including sounds props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by merv254 at on03/05/06
Very interesting, cerebral (in a good way)
Posted by Mister_Leebo at on03/04/06
While it's an interesting story with good characters, I was mostly disappointed to realize my initial question concerning the girl's problem (what caused it?) was never announced or even given the option to be addressed. Neither solution provides a remedy that relates to the cause of the affliction so I'm left wondering if this "problem" were to crop up again would the solution still be to poke out people's eyes or put them to sleep forever? Such band-aid remedies (peculiar as they may be) certainly wouldn't work on the large scale and I felt it was very strange that no one seemed concerned about the cause of the curse or its origins whatsoever, and were content to live out their happy lives in ignorance of whatever threat is causing everything. In the end, I'm sure a lot of these complaints can be swept away as "limitations of the contest rules" but I truly feel that the girl's background should have played a bigger role in the search for remedies.
Posted by thegeorge at 08:54:17 Voted9.75
It was easy for me to bring extra attention to such a worthy contest entry. I too hope it wins something.
Posted by Dnl_Jms_Frwrd at on02/24/06
Hi, To answer your query, I think the painter is the weakest of the three NPCs mainly for personal and subjective reasons. I?ve a great love of flawed, damaged or otherwise malfunctioning characters (such as the other two) and he doesn?t really have a problem as such, just a bizarre talent and the abstract mindset that comes with it. Also, because his premise isn?t as easily explained as the others, I didn?t get the same sense of immediate empathy and understanding that I did with them. Lastly, and just to reiterate what I wrote with my vote, because the other NPCs are so well-imagined and well-realised, he comes off seeming a little less than ideal by comparison. Anyway, I?ve played a fair chunk of these modules and I can safely say that yours is my favourite thus far ? and I can?t really foresee that changing either. I think it?d be something of a travesty if you don?t finish in the top five, especially since you?ve created something truly wonderful without bending, or even pushing, any of the contest?s rules. Good luck, Dan Forward.
Posted by Maerdicul at on03/01/06
good writing, very creative ideas, interesting characters. sorry 'bout the brief comments, but no time ... chasing after the white rabbit.
Posted by herrjeff at on02/16/06
Wow, great feedback after so many weeks of silence. I'm very happy to finally see your module on the Search engine; it certainly deserves it. Although thegeorge's recommendation was instrumental to get some attention on your module, I think that Nereng's "Lurker" list was very efficient to gather the number of votes required to reach a larger audience. Good luck.
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