I've mostly kept it free of D&D, FR and NWN-specific material, but there are a few hangovers (like the save vs spell and the insight markers).
Gameplay Length
It was a small module to begin with, and I had to cut 2000 words out. Do the math :)
Number Players
Single player only
Language
English
Level Range
Any
Races
Any
Tricks & Traps
Non-existent
Roleplay
Medium
Hack & Slash
Non-existent
Classes
Any
Scope
Small
DMNeeded
No DM Required
Single or Multiplayer
Single Player
Max Character Level
Any
Max # Players
01
Min # Players
01
Min Character Level
Any
Content Rating
Teen
Alignments
Any
Gameplay Hours
<1
Description
Now in Vanilla! If anything doesn't work, please tell me and I'll get right on it.
Following several thinly veiled threats upon both his life and that of his family, Lord Samuel Byron has employed you to escort his son, Peregrine, to his city home at the King's court. You may consider childminding a demeaning use of your talents, but it always pays to ingratiate yourself with noblemen. Armed with a picnic basket, Perry has led you into the woods for lunch... unfortunately, the trail appears to have vanished a while back. It looks like you're going to be looking after the boy for a while...
Dialogue is largely conversational rather than interrogatory, so there are plenty of opportunities to miss it. To compensate, I've tacked a "dialogue mode" onto the end that will allow you to explore all the conversations at leisure.
Updated 26th February for minor spelling and grammar, hopefully a bugfix and the vanilla version. Aside from obvious mistakes I've resolved not to change the content, for better or worse, in the interest of fairness to my reviewers.
Well, from your comments it sounds like you?ve found a loophole. Unfortunately, I?m not willing to traipse around a repeating area until I find a story to critique. Talked to a total of 3 NPCs, all children. ?Henchman? boy seemed to be developing. I just gave up. With many mods to review, I don?t have time to find your story. Hopefully the judges will. (5) Perhaps will further review later on.
Posted by Lance at on03/13/06
7.75 CAKEWALK (214TH TESTED MODULE) This is my updated scoring system structured around the format provided by Bioware. The final score is still consistent with my old system, but I hope to give clearer feedback within the new guidelines. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible. Remember, this is only my opinion; Bioware?s is the one that counts! If you believe I have scored your module unfairly, or I have missed something of importance, please email me at ?email_althea@blueyonder.co.uk? and I will consider any comments made. All nine Bioware points can score a maximum of 1 point each, leaving 1 point for my personal interest/like of the module. Text of Module: (2.0 out of 3) The Writing: (I do not scan the writing looking for errors, but if I notice something while reading it, I will note it here.) I noticed misuse of punctuation, misuse of capital letters (typo?). Also alright > all right. (0.75) Characterization: The lad was good, but the statue/children were weaker. (0.5) Dialog Flow: I found it difficult to understand what the statue was or required, but otherwise fine. (0.75) Concept Execution: (5.0 out of 6) Originality/Creativity: An original abduction story. (1.0) Logical Flow: I was too confused at the end. I left uncertain as to what had happened. What was the spirit?s interest? Was it related to anything I was doing now? (0.5) Drama: There were a number of dramatic moments throughout. (1.0) Pacing: The need to keep the boy safe (and returned) kept the pace well. (1.0) Character Development: There was development with the children. (0.5) Multiple Paths: This appeared to have quite a number. (1.0) Conclusion: Technically, this module scored above average in the writing in my opinion. (2.0/3) The story scored above average in my opinion. (5.0/6). My personal score is 0.75 out of 1.0 because this one was cleverly done. (I know it is not about scripting, but I did appreciate the author?s use of space.) Furthermore, the added moments of drama and pace throughout kept me involved. NB: I have assumed the two children were part of the ?spirit? with regards to NPC count. MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO): 5 Not up with the competition. 5 - 6 Average. 7 - 8 Above average. > 8 An exceptional piece PERSONAL SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES): GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction? PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices? CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable? SPELLING GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors? OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere scenery, including sounds props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Arik at on04/23/06
Thanks for all the delightful comments, all of you. I know the start is a little slow, but I hope it all contributed to the curve of the buildup. re: NullthraBloodeye - I know, guilty as charged. My excuse for lack of descriptions and journals is, as ever, that the word count was already getting a little high, and these two areas are often not looked at - hopefully the characters came across well enough in the dialogue, and the lack of journal entries was hopefully not inappropriate for the situation and the mood. As for sounds, I'm afraid I wasn't familiar enough with the NWN toolset to find appropriate ones, so I just left the ambient sounds on. I hope it came across O.K :)
Posted by NullthraBloodeye at on03/11/06
Good opening, above average writing. No journals, no npc descriptions and no sounds. I felt several words could have been changed to fit a more medieval time period and setting. Player responses were good and overall a fairly decent module. TY
Posted by Kenrae at on03/03/06
Very good. Better than it seemed at first.
Posted by Aelin at on03/02/06
While I was playing this module, the long walk in the woods really surprised me: the area had to be the same, I knew it, but at each transition there was something new! Fantastic, even if for some few moments I truly felt lost in the woods. Really an excelent use of scripting (but this not influence the vote). The story could seem a bit bland and slow, but what else can I pretend going to picnic during a baby-sitting job? :) Dialogs sound natural, Perry's personality is well described and the mute communication with the statue is really good. Sunny and Felicity seem two different NPCs, but they act and speak as one, and I think this save you to have too many characters for the contest rules. Good job.
Posted by Maerdicul at on03/02/06
dialogue was nice although child sometimes sounded a bit too adult, even for haughty, well-educated nobility. the confrontation at the end kinda reminded me of "old school" text adventure games for some reason ... nice use of object placement and corresponding descriptions to create foreshadowing. pacing was good with a slow but gradual buildup. i liked the alternate endings.
Posted by Kirian at on02/23/06
Oh nice, we have similar taste, Arik! Into the Woods and The Isle are in my top 3 as well. I haven't played the other two you mention, but now they will be first on my play list! By the way, I seem to remember that I rated your own module pretty favorably too ;)
Posted by Arik at on04/23/06
Thank you for the kind words, Kirian Sia and Brougham! It's good to know when a plot comes together. As far as breaking up the walking goes, that's where I cut slightly less that 2000 words from - there were originally 2 more interjections from Perry as you walked. They weren't very economical in terms of wordage, and I think that I managed to get Perry's personality across as it is, but I may put up the "director's cut" version once the contest is over.
Posted by Sia at on02/25/06
Spoiler warning: I liked this module the best of all the ones I've played so far. (Which, admittedly, is only around a dozen.) The plot was original and surprising. I thought Perry was a convincing spoiled noble child, just haughty enough to make his rank clear without being unlikeable. The scene at the tree helped him considerably -- he might've been too snotty without it, but it gave him a certain amount of childish charm. The wall of trees that appeared after I reached the "picnic spot" was a great touch. That was the point at which I really felt worried. (end of spoilers) The dialogue, in general, was natural sounding and had a fair number of player choices that -- unlike in so many modules, were things I would actually want to say. There were a couple of bugs in the dialogue, (Talking to Sunny triggered the conversation with Felicity instead, for some reason.) but they were pretty minor. The only problem I really had with this one was the length of time that elapses before things really start. I didn't count the transitions I walked through to reach the picnic spot, but it seemed as though, between the first conversation with Perry and reaching the end, there was a lot of just. . . walking. That was, perhaps, problematic in a short story like this. I think Perry's one-line comments helped a little, but it would have really helped to get some different conversations with him (even if they were only one different initial node with the same, "Can we stop here?" options for each transition) at some of the locations besides just the tree and the campfire. Overall, I thought this was a solid piece. Nicely done.
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