This is a short module slapped together for the Bioware writing contest. The PC is lost in a forest and must find his or her way out by talking to a paladin, an old hag, and a spirit.
No combat, tricks, or puzzles as per contest rules.
*** For support, please email me at [email protected] as I don't visit the Vault much anymore.
Very linera for contest rules but who cares? It is a great story and well written.
Posted by BFlowers at on02/20/06
A solid entry with a few issues. We'll start with the bad news and end with the good. Many sections of LONG dialog from the NPCs and from the player. Not a lot of roleplaying options. Many occasions where I felt like I was being talked at and led by my nose rather than making decisions. I wasn't keen on it being as linear as it was. It was very clearly set up so that I had to talk to people in a certain order. Additionally, that order didn't necessarily make sense. I don't feel like I should have to check my journal to see who I should talk to next. It should either be obvious because it relates to a certain person (like you've found an object that belongs to Mr X) or because you are told to go talk to someone in the dialog. There was never a time that I went back to the Paladin that I was sure of why he was the guy to ask, except that he was the only other guy around. I never really did figure out why the Paladin was this great font of knowledge. He really didn't serve much purpose beyond being an information source. You did give him some character, but he might as well have been a book for all the involvement he had in the story. It would have been more interesting if he'd had a personal stake, or at least a compelling reason why he knew what he did. I would have liked him to have done extensive research before rushing into the forest, so he knew the stories of everyone who vanished, when they vanished and under what circumstances. Maybe some of the popular theories as to why the forest behaves the way it does. Like this was his personal mission and he understood how great a challenge it would be, rather than "I'm in charge and I thought this would be a good, easy little thing to deal with before I get down to the important stuff", which was the impression I got. Alternatively, my husband suggests it would have been interesting if he'd brashly rushed into the forest to rescue the princess as he had been one of her suitors. You could then explore the tragedy of him not recognizing her. I also wasn't terribly keen on the fact that there were only 2 endings, and that I could stumble into the "bad" ending by failing the skill check. I also wasn't fond of the exposition at the end that basically says "you made the wrong choice and you should know it". If I was evil I wouldn't necessarily feel bad about it, and if I was good and failed my skill, it wasn't really a choice. Your foreshadowing was maybe a little heavy. Right from the first line of dialog I was thinking voice = not good. If you want it to be more mysterious, maybe back it off with the shivers down the spine and general creepiness. Your descriptions are vivid and wonderful writing, but the dialog itself was kinda flat. I didn't really get a feeling for the characters from what they said and none of them really had a voice. If you could somehow convey the descriptive bits in this dialogue itself that would really make it stand out as great writing. Basically you told me what the characters were like rather than letting me experience it. Now to the good. Nice writing, no spelling or grammatical errors that I noticed. Great use of setting, sounds and extras to tell the tale. Wonderful atmosphere. Interesting and original story.
Posted by MikeLM9215 at on02/17/06
Player never in control. Must go from one NPC to another in a certain order. Must have successful persuade, bluff or intimidate to have correct ending (unacceptable). Is well-written however. _________________________ The road to Ravenloft is paved with good intentions.
Posted by RobFaeth at on02/17/06
A very good entry, I feel, though clearly not perfect. On the plus side, the writing was pretty top notch. There were a few moments that were a bit over-descriptive, a few times when it dragged on, and a good amount that could have been tightened down, but I thought your descriptions worked very well, and the writing alone was good enough that I wanted to keep playing. You had a very good concept, and I really enjoyed the ending of the module. On all these respects, very, very good. I do have a major complaint, however. The main purpose of the PC in the module seemed to be to run back and forth about half a dozen times, getting information from the knight (and only from the knight), then returning and spouting off that information, then again to the knight to pick up something else. It did get VERY tedious. The setting also worked pretty well, though the long sound clips with talking to the knight (just choose a shorter one) and you had a sound-clip randomly on the first screen of narration. The writing at the very beginning needed to be trimmed, and more of an unlinear structure (though I'm not one to talk) would be nice. Again, very good overall, and not a huge amount to work on. The rating you have received is in the top 10 I've given out, I believe, and that's out of 63 rated, so feel proud, aye? I'd love to see your future works! Have fun, and good luck in the contest.
Posted by Kimberlea at on02/15/06
Your module reminded me of one of the official module side quests a little bit, I can't remember which. It was really well written and all the options were great, if not a little too simple. Very descriptive language and solid play!
Posted by Tarqu1n at on02/14/06
Wow. You really do have a very good command of the NWN toolset and your module is very well written, both structurally and creatively. You definitely know how to build a story and all the elements necessary. My only quibble would be that although I had many choices for dialogue, questions etc, most of the other options were very shallow and that one could only progress if you went through the right branch from start to finish. I don't like having to endlessly click through branches to find which offshoot is the one needed. But really, that is a minor point.
Posted by andgalf at on02/14/06
Great! As always you're an amazing storyteller! PLEASE make some more modules if you have the time. I really miss the good old days when I played TOA: The Awakening.
Posted by roane242 at on02/14/06
I really enjoyed the twist at the end of this module - that the princess had made an enormous personal sacrifice, while I had first suspected her of performing a horrible misdeed. Although I caught on a little earlier than would have been best, I was still moved by the resolution of the module. That fact alone rates a high score. I have a couple of nitpicks, though. As several other posters have mentioned, I really disliked the running back and forth. I also thought that the dialogue got repetitive, with at best an illusion of choice for most conversations; and the illusion wore thin. The modules strength is in its resolution; the build up is effective to the extenct that it gave the resolution power, but there wasn't much fun in getting there.
Posted by Lance at on02/14/06
7.75 A MOONLESS NIGHT - 1.00 (119TH TESTED MODULE) My intention is to give feedback on both the writing (competition) and design (not necessarily competition) for every module I have the chance to play. NB: Judging any material is always subject to personal taste. I have tried hard to be as objective as possible and apologise if I have appeared harsh in any of my scores. Also remember this is only my opinion; Bioware?s is the one that counts! NB: I have changed from my current choice of modules (working my way through one by one), to check some of the top modules. I will do this from time to time just to ensure I do comment on the top modules. WRITING: This was not a bad module, but it was not, in my opinion, as good as a number of modules I have tested to date. The writing was well done, technically, but two other things play a big part for my judgment: Involvement fun factor. This module was too linear and caused the lower score on both fronts. The running backwards and forwards (much like Firestarter) annoyed me. Furthermore, the fact that the knight suddenly recalls some important facts feels orchestrated. I suspect I might receive a hard time about this score, but writing (in my opinion) is a balance between being clean and easy to read as well as fun to read. This piece, at times, felt laboured and not fun. The two endings were straightforward. DESIGN: A wood. Nice touch with sounds added at appropriate moments. I would like to have seen the retry choices take me back to the last conversation rather than back to the start. FINAL: I may be completely wrong about what people really want ? and the current scores would tend to suggest that. However, I still believe that information about NPC?s, a player?s involvement and general pace of a story can all be increased more by tighter writing than this piece has. I do not believe a player should always know how to ?completely? solve the problem after teasing information from the nearby sources. In some respects, the boundaries set by the competition almost insist that the player is not forced to act on information gained, but do what they can from what they can ascertain from smaller clues. This, as I have said many times before, is just my opinion. :) MY SCORE SYSTEM (IMHO): 5 Not up with the competition. 5 - 6 Average. 7 - 8 Above average. > 8 An exceptional piece SCORING FACTORS (IN ORDER OF MY PRIORITIES): GRAB FACTOR: How quickly am I involved in the action? Do I have direction? PLOT: Is the story engaging? Is subject interesting? Varied conversation choices? CHARACTERS: Are they easily identifiable? Are they rounded/memorable? SPELLING GRAMMAR: Is the text easy to read? Are there quite a few errors? OTHER FACTORS (MINOR INFLUENCE): Design for atmosphere scenery, including sounds props. Quality of module stability; does it break easily? _________________________ World of Althéa Blog: Link
Posted by Berra at on02/14/06
This module had detail, a good and mysterious plot and very good writing. A perfect 10-vote from me. _________________________ /// Berra (Hall of Fame, Reviewer's Award and Golden Dragon Winner): Berra's Module Collection (All of Berra's NWN1 works) Interviews: NWN-PODCAST INTERVIEW GOLDEN DRAGON AWARD INTERVIEW. Reviewer's Award and Golden Dragon Award for: Surviving Horror 2. Other Downloads: NWN1 - Berra's Module Favorites, NWN2 - Berra's Module Favorites. Homepages: Berra's NWN Blog Berra's YouTube Channel (Features original horror movies). CONTACT ME HERE. Everyone: your VOTES are highly appriciated. A vote is like gold for an author. No kiddin'. ;)
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